funniest article i've ever read in the local newspaper....

Here is the Ted Nugent story that I found rather comical in a disturbing way. I really wanted to write about the great Halloween party I went to on Saturday and how many girls I made out with and how great it is to feed goats and go to pumpkin patches TWICE in the fall, but that's more of a diary entry I'm not sure anyone wants to hear about. : )

Nugent Gets Warm Wisconsin Welcome
Wisconsin State Journal :: LOCAL :: B3
Thursday, October 26, 2006
DANYA HOOKER dhooker@madison.com 608-252-6120

For the most part, liberal activists -- so often visible and audible at speeches by conservatives -- stayed away from a packed Union Theater on Wednesday night.
Those who did go, however, heard themselves described by outspoken rocker, hunter and gun rights activist Ted Nugent as dope-smoking hippies, mongrels and bloodsuckers.

And his declaration that "I'm hard-core right-wing" was met with enthusiastic applause on the overwhelmingly left-wing UW-Madison campus.

Nugent stormed the stage holding a set of antlers and sporting a graying ponytail beneath his camouflage cowboy hat. "I came to Wisconsin, first and foremost, because you have too many deer," he said. "And I can fix that."

Nugent, 58, brought to Madison by the conservative student group Collegians for a Constructive Tomorrow, spent most of his rowdy and profane speech somewhere between politically incorrect and offensive.
On the issue of homelessness, Nugent said, "Conservatives see a beggar on the street. What I do is I kneel down and I say Hey (expletive), there's a help wanted sign right there.' A liberal will give 'em $5 and he'll turn around and buy drugs and the liberal will just help kill the (expletive) quicker."

On welfare recipients, he said, "I know a couple of soldiers who can't get wheelchairs -- they had their legs blown off -- because some (expletive) in Detroit has to get some more bling bling," Nugent said.

While most of the audience applauded Nugent's rants, the few dissenters made their presence known during the question and answer session. One attacked Nugent's lack of service during the Vietnam War, calling him a "a yellow-bellied, traitorous, coward," touching off a two-minute profanity match that ended with the man being ushered away.

Concerns over Nugent's comments on homelessness and welfare were met with the same disregard for opposition. "I hate excuses," Nugent said.

But most of the questioners just wanted to know the basics, such as what kind of hunting bow he uses (a lightweight bow with handmade cedar arrows) and how long it took him to write the guitar solo from "Stranglehold" (one spontaneous, unedited take in a studio).

Above all, Nugent asked the audience to stay off drugs, protect the country and the Constitution -- especially by joining the National Rifle Association -- and to be vocal. "Study history and by God don't let the horrors of our past history be repeated because we're too weak to stand up and protest. Think Rosa Parks."