Friday, November 30, 2007

OH SHIT!

5 Surprising Symptoms of Infidelity
Posted Thu, Nov 29, 2007, 9:41 am PST
38% of users found this article helpful.
Post a Comment View All 353 Comments Everybody thinks they can spot a cheater a mile away. Adulterers, after all, have the same characteristics, right? Wandering eyes, secret cell phones, last name Sheen. If only it were that easy.

Unfortunately, we live in a society where people fall out of their fidelity flight patterns and take off on their own different courses all the time, even though we desperately want to believe that our partners won't be unfaithful. That's why it's important to know some of the traits and sneaky signals that are common in people who tend to be unfaithful in the relationships.

Now, I'm not suggesting you automatically end your relationship if your partner falls into one of these categories, but I do think that these are some signs you should be aware of - so you can be on the lookout for warnings of wandering.

Cheating Sign #1: He Doesn't Pay His Bills On Time

Some research shows that unreliability and carelessness is part of a personality trait called "low consciousness," which is a marker for infidelity. Makes sense. A guy who's careless about his own responsibilities is going to be just as careless about his relationships.

Cheating Sign #2: He's A Do-Gooder

What? Your guy contributes to the local orchestra fund, the church, and the alumni association, plus he volunteers to build houses for the homeless. How could a guy like that give into the temptation of midnight motel rooms?

A study just published in the November issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology found that when there's a blurry line between right and wrong (as there often is with matters of infidelity), the people who become the worst cheaters are actually the ones who think of themselves as having the highest moral standards.

Why? The speculation is that these people can justify their wrongdoings with explanations that they weren't doing anything wrong at all. Simply put, not following the Monogamy Rules (a faithfully popular Men's Health story) makes it hard for the Do-Gooder to live in his skin.

Cheating Sign #3: He's Rolling In The Dough

A study in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy found that those people who earned more money were more likely to cheat than those who earned less. It's not because they have more income to open new credit cards, carry more cash, or spend more coin on mistress gifts. Some researchers theorize that those with lower salaries - and thus those who are more dependent on others in a relationship - are less likely to risk ruining the relationship.

Cheating Sign #4: He's A Yeller

While yelling and anger may not seem to be all that connected to cheating, a recent Australian study found that unfaithful partners show many of the same personality characteristics as abusive ones. Those who are more likely to be abusive (verbally or physically) are simply more likely to be unfaithful. What's already bad has the potential of getting even worse.

Cheating Sign #5: He's A Mirror Hog

Some research has shown that the single biggest trait of cheaters is-surprise, surprise-narcissism. These self-loving folks are so wrapped up in their own self-importance that they don't even consider the effect that cheating has on the other person. So what if I stray and have the occasional one-nightstand? I deserve to be happy. Have you seen these guns, baby!

And, yes, this works both ways, as Men's Health explained in "6 Signs She's Ready to Stray." Perhaps all of this might leave the guys wishing they had read "The 50 Things She Wishes You Knew About Her."

Know other symptoms and signs of infidelity? Please add your thoughts to this important discussion

71 comments:

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

so everyone's at risk?

Richard said...

pretty much!

Just like when you read horoscopes and they prove they really know you deep down by saying youre happy AND sad.

Jackie said...

thanks for leaving me alone on im! now i'm bored with 35 minutes left in my day at work.

Deanna said...

I think I might wait to go to the Glover thing until Sunday. My body HATES me right now.

Deanna said...

So it would appear that Record Breakers has reopened! Who's up for a field trip?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

after finals, which end on friday. but not on friday cuz that's dale's birthday and i told karen i'd come visit them after school ended. so saturday is the earliest!

Richard said...

Good Monday Morning Everyone.

D- How was the show?

Jackie- Get on AIM!

Deanna said...

I didn't go, Rich. I was too sick this weekend. But they're playing at the Hideout Friday night, so I'll probably go to that.

Richard said...

Oh, that sucks you couldnt go. The movie was really fantastic by the way. I'll have to tell you all about it.

What are you sick with?

Deanna said...

A cold brought on by the intense sleep deprivation of last week along with the weather. Whoo. I've been chugging Airborne, taking vitamins, and trying to get enough sleep...along with some Jack Daniels. Helps kill the germs.

Deanna said...

Hey, if we take a field trip to Record Breakers this weekend, we could finally go to Orange!

Richard said...

Jack Daniels- not only kills germs but everything else in its path.

I think I may have just invented the greatest tagline of all time!

Anyway, yeah lets go to Record Breakers and Orange. Whats Orange again?

Deanna said...

Orange is the fruishi place.

I have volunteer work that morning. I have no idea how long that will take--it involves helping sort 10000 books. Whoo.

Richard said...

Oh yeah, Orange. That place sounds like a fuckin hoot!

We'll figure out what time etc

Richard said...

Actually...I just read negative review after negative review aboput Orange on citysearch. Apparently if we go we should each bring a book or a game of pocket scrabble cuz we can expect up to 90 minutes wait

Deanna said...

Maybe we should try First Slice, then?

Richard said...

Ok, whats First Slice? I did a search and Im only finding like a feeding the homeless program

D said...

It is a feeding the homeless program, but they also have a restaurant that benefits the program. It's apparently amazing.

Richard said...

I hope if anyone is travelling in the Chicago area today they get where they are going and return home safely. I lucked out on my way to work. We'll see about the ride home! Be careful out there.

d said...

I took the Metra to work, and I will probably take it home. The snow is so pretty.

Richard said...

speaking of which hows the new job

Jackie said...

hey rich. i'll be on this afternoon, hopefully my aim will work continuously!

Deanna said...

The new job is pretty good. It's basically what I was doing at Mes, but in a non-psychotic environment. Nice people, too.

I'm at home today, though. That cold I've been fighting has come back with a vengeance. Time to make some Airborne.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

so are you not coming on saturday with us to recordbreakers? i invited simone, who might go... so you should get better and come with us!

Jackie said...

anyone else want an x-mas card from me (besides rich and liz, since i already did yours)?

there's a special hilarious joke in every card!

Deanna said...

Well, going to Record Breakers was my idea!

Ugh, the place I have to go is at Kedzie and Ohio? I wish they'd mentioned that before people started agreeing to help. I hate it when they assume you have a car, because it's really not very close to any train stops.

I might have a date that night too...

Deanna said...

You know what? Let's just go ahead and pick a time to meet Saturday, because I'm sure they'll be fine if I just help for a few hours. What are they going to do if I can't stay the whole time, fire me?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

haha... yeah! and then they'll kick your lil' ass! and i know it was your idea, but i thought you were gonna back out of your own idea, you see.

rich and i will talk tonight and set up a time. not too late as there is a fight on sat. night and we have to watch it.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

rich, that roxy music visual history thing... is that a book or a dvd? on amazon it says it's a dvd (and only available in the uk), but i swore that ad in mojo or whatever said it was a book. i was just gonna check reviews, but not anymore.

Richard said...

according to my sources (an ad in Q) its a book. weird, huh?

Deanna said...

Why would I back out of my own idea? Especially such an awesome one?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

cuz you're WEIRD

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard said...

cuz you were may still under the weather was my understanding.

and on a related note would eating at that slice palce be feasible?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

i say no, because it's on the totally opposite side of the city. but i guess if everyone really wants to... well, i would rather not drive it.

Richard said...

oh ok, as we all know i have no sense of geography. thats the onyl reason i was asking. so i guess we should all arrive having eaten- har har.

d said...

Well, I might still go there that night...on my date.

So no food...what time are we meeting, then? It's near the Chinatown Red Line stop, so I can meet you guys there.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

we can still have food, just not on the other side of the city. i'm sure the south side has restaurants.... and it's not that far south so even the loop/near north is fine. first slice is like 4400 north, so she can go there for her date.

Richard said...

IM TIRED

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

not as tired as meee

Deanna said...

I'm tired, too!

Well, my date got pushed up to tonight, so we can eat wherever and whenever tomorrow.

Deanna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Richard said...

Very true Liz, not nearly as tired as you.

And so D your umm date got ahem pushed up? I'll bet thats not the only thing that gets oooooh pushed. Im positive he'll be "mapping" out your mi...oww you slapped me

d said...

We're also meeting way closer to my house than originally planned. I guess I'll be shoving everything that's currently in my floor into my closet and washing my sheets after work.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

well dear, comcast couldn't do anything to help the internet connection. a technician will be coming out on thursday, so i guess it's good i am off that day. and don't worry--i will pay for any charges, even though they don't charge for problems caused by their equipment. but i'm sure their equipment never fucks up, right?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

HALLEFUCKINLUJAH! IT HAS RETURNED!

okay, sorry, connection problems may just be over and i am relieved.

Richard said...

When you're happy, I'm happy.

Deanna said...

Aw, you guys are puke cute.

Guess who has another date this weekend!!!

Richard said...

you know what makes people puke? gagging.

Richard said...

speaking of which, congrats ont he 2nd date!

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

gabe and kathy's dog pepper got out of the yard on saturday and ran into traffic... poor thing was hit and killed. i feel so bad for them.

D said...

Rich: Ew, and thanks!

Liz: :(

Richard said...

D- Sorry that was kinda gross. I realized as such after Id left my comment

Joe Blow said...

the rough draft of my play that Jackie and I are writing. Its called Little Metal Plastic Vagina. Its a play about people from highschool who have sex with eachother and give birth to other people from highschool. So far we have brad faubert knocking up someone. we're not sure who it is yet but they give birth to a fully grown holly hilgenberg, so, throughout the play she can be seen on a TV screen that is in the large little metal plastic vagina. there will be a collection of video clips of her being all interesting after we force drugs upon her. at the end, the real holly emerges from the large little metal plastic vagina and asks, "Are you mad at me?" Then, for the finale, we all emerge and we braid the pubic hair of the large little metal plastic vagina. we shave it and make bracelets. that it all for now.

Richard said...

well, thats a relief

Jackie said...

i watched heavy metal videos for hours today.

Jackie said...

and wore just my apron for awhile too.

Jackie said...

and i continue to tell stories.

Richard said...

oh, what are some of the stories

Deanna said...

Wow, Dusty Groove's website has an in-store pickup ordering option. Ooooooh, this is bad news for me.

Deanna said...

Is this day ever going to end? Jesus.

Richard said...

outside of my ever mounting headache, Im totally kicking ass today

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

jackie, will you please e-mail me or send me a message through myspace with your current address? rich and i are sending cards out and we want to give you one.

Jackie said...

done! : )

Jackie said...

sign on rich!

Richard said...

Im on now, I was having my review

Richard said...

Its been a while since Ive done a myspace Q & A. So heres one from Jessie...

Fill this out about your SENIOR year of high school! Repost as the year that you graduated...

1. Who was your best friend?
I didn't have one single best friend then or now. My "inner circle" included Jon, Tim, George, Christine and John Kozlick, plus several others who I can't be bothered to mention.

2. What sports did you play?
The game of life, motherfucker.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
I did not learn to drive until after high school.

4. It's Friday night...where r you?
Fuckin shit up with the Fluxus.

5. Were you a party animal?
I was the God Of Hell Fire. Fuck off.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
Yeah, telling people they should have been abortions is a great pick up line. I can honestly say I was happy being alone at the time. I wouldnt have been any good dating or in a relationship.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir.?
I dropped out of band mid-way through sophomore year.

8. Were you a nerd?
I was cool as fuck. Still am.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
I have no idea how I escaped either, considering I was public enemy #1.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
I was the only student who knew the words. Nazareth my alma mater dear right from the heart with accents loud and clear our lips proclaim our pledge of loyalty to you dear nazareth. we wont forget you as the years go by oh we'll be true to you our old dear high...I dont remember the rest. I refused to ever sing it of course.

11. Were you ever a victim of a wedgie?
Nope, not even close. Lots of tough guys threatened me, but never acted on it.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
At the Kool Kids table. Invite only.

13. What was your school's full name?
Nazareth Academy

14. School mascot?
fucking hell, a roadrunner. That was the best those assholes could do.

15. Homecoming Court?
I didn't know then either. No idea, could fucking care less.

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
FUCK NO

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
Making my ex-girlfriend cry then smiling and quickly leaving the scene of the crime, checking to see if I actually got a diploma when it was presented to me, telling Kim Querferth I thought she was both very beautiful and too good for the lame gang banger she was dating, walking around by myself whistling and throwing pebbles, yelling to my Mom when we were all walking out and supposed to be quiet, wanting to go the hell home!

18. Where did you go senior skip day?
I had last period study hall, so EVERY day was at least a partial skip day.

19. Where was your locker?
K3. Next to Tim and Lance. Or was Lance my locker partner? No, I have no idea who my locker partner was. Maybe Skip?

20. Were you in any clubs?
No way, I'd been removed from Poetry Club and never went back. Of course without me around they descended into utter mediocrity. Fools.

22. Have you gained some weight since then?
Yeah, but I've lost 35 pounds this year, and I still wear alot of my old clothes.

23. Who was your Senior prom date?
Chris Kelly. We were absolutely the best looking couple. I have the pictures to prove it.

26. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
The reunion idea came and went two years ago. We got one flyer in the mail and nothing else. There is no way Id go anyway. It would be a negation of everything I am and everything Ive learned. I love that our class cared so little, there was apparently no reunion. Fuck it. Fuck nostalgia.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
The legendary Joe Chodle. We took 5 years off his life.
Joe Chodle- Millett, you are a boil on the ass of this class.
Rich Millett- And Mr Chodle, you are the puss inside that boil.
etc.

28. Who will repost this?
NO ONE

29. Do you still talk to people from high school?
Only the people who mattered. The sincere ones.

Richard said...

Oh, everyone D isnt on here much cuz her work blocked blogger. She can see what we write but cant say anything. Like Jackie Gleason or something. So anyway, we should all say hi

Jackie said...

1. Who was your best friend?
most of the people i'm friends with now, with the exception of a few.

2. What sports did you play?
none.

3. What kind of car did you drive?
my old lady car, who i named pearl.

4. It's Friday night...where r you?
doing something goofy with my friends. probably at steph's house video-taping ourselves being weird.

5. Were you a party animal?
not particularly, no. i was just a goofy teenager.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
no, i was really asexual.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir.?
i was in choir for one semester because i thought it would be easy. it was easy but then i found out i had to sing by myself in front of everyone, so that was scary. AND i had to go on stage on front of the school and look like i cared about being in choir.

8. Were you a nerd?
no. brandon suriano was a nerd. we were the kids who took every art class we could because we hated any other class we were forced to take. but i wasnt exceptionally artistic. just liked hanging out with my friends.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
no. but i had a lot of dress code detentions and got kicked out of class a few times.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
no.

11. Were you ever a victim of a wedgie?
nope.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
the hallway by the lunch room. we figured if we weren't forced to be around those douchebags, why sit in the same room with them?

13. What was your school's full name?
Notre Dame de la Baie Academy

14. School mascot?
a triton.

15. Homecoming Court?
i don't recall.

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
dear god no.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
i was the only one not smiling in all the pictures we took and i remember yelling "let's get drunk!" to all my friends and my mom overhearing. needless to say, she was not thrilled with me. i'm surprised she let me go out that night.

18. Where did you go senior skip day?
i don't think we had one.

19. Where was your locker?
in a hallway, i don't know!

20. Were you in any clubs?
i was in the art club picture, but never went to meetings.

22. Have you gained some weight since then?
yup.

23. Who was your Senior prom date?
we went to see american psycho instead of going to prom.

26. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
nope.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
i don't remember.

28. Who will repost this?
no one!

29. Do you still talk to people from high school?
quite a few actually.

Deanna said...

Hi everyone! I skipped our work Christmas party to come home and knit. Such an animal!



1. Who was your best friend?
Clint. Which really means I could trust no one.

2. What sports did you play?
Homicide

3. What kind of car did you drive?
I STILL can't drive.

4. It's Friday night...where r you?
Working at Waldenbooks.

5. Were you a party animal?
Is a party one of those social gatherings at which everyone in the room circles around you, points at your outfit, and laughs? If so...no, I got enough of that at school.

6. Were you considered a flirt?
No, though every member of the football team, after ignoring me for the previous three years, spontaneously decided to develop crushes on me. That was surreal.

7. Were you in band, orchestra, or choir.?
I stopped taking choir halfway through freshman year because the instructor had it out for me. And I was bored.

8. Were you a nerd?
No, I was a dork.

9. Did you get suspended/expelled?
I tried to stay out of trouble, but it just kept finding me.

10. Can you sing the fight song?
I don't think we even had a fight song.

11. Were you ever a victim of a wedgie?
No, because someone would have fucking died if they'd pulled that shit.

12. Where did you sit during lunch?
With the dweebs, nerds, goths, and punks...who in everyone else's eyes were pretty much interchangeable.

13. What was your school's full name?
Gibbs High School, the Alma Mater of Kenny Chesney. I think they legally changed the name last year or something.

14. School mascot?
An eagle. Hopefully an endangered species.

15. Homecoming Court?
I was a member of it junior year when Eric decided to run for Homecoming Queen.

16. If you could go back and do it again, would you?
No. I like having autonomy.

17. What do you remember most about graduation?
The toilets at the Civic Coliseum.

18. Where did you go senior skip day?
Since I missed a fuckload of school during my last semester, I actually had to go to class that day. There weren't enough Time-for-Time sessions left before graduation.

19. Where was your locker?
Fuck lockers, I had my own private drawer in the library, away from everyone else.

20. Were you in any clubs?
Scholar's Bowl

22. Have you gained some weight since then?
No, I'm probably just about the same weight. I might even weigh a little less these days.

23. Who was your Senior prom date?
Even all these years later, I refuse to talk about it in a public forum. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

26. Are you planning on going to your 10 year reunion?
No. I don't have any need to flaunt my personal growth and happiness in front of my mostly twice-married classmates.

27. Who was your home room teacher?
We didn't have homeroom. We just went straight into our first class. Fall semester I had Mrs. Irwin for Art I, who was pissed that I was just then taking an art class because I apparently have talent. Spring semester...I can't fucking remember.

28. Who will repost this?
Your mom.

29. Do you still talk to people from high school?
Michael. Occasionally I still talk to Heather. A handful of the cooler ones have added me as a "friend" on various websites, but I've not had any conversations with them. Most of them I have little use for, unless they actually grew as human beings.

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