Tuesday, November 06, 2007

you know nothing about opera!

i have no idea who these two women are, but this is just too good to not post.


Jackie said...


and carrie!

Richard said...

So yes Carrie has a blog and Corin is pregnant. And Janet has fucked off with the dueche crew.

Deanna said...

Corin is pregnant AGAIN??? I missed that part...

Richard said...

Yes she is. Oh Deanna that 8 armed child story is amazing, thanks for putting that up here

Deanna said...

No problem. That little girl is really beautiful, and I hope the surgery goes okay...

I found the article saying that she's "very preggo," but no pictures. How dare they cheat us of the bun in the oven!

Richard said...

we should just go to portland (or pdx as no one i know calls it) and take our own pictures

Jackie said...

does anyone know anything about the culinary schools in the chicago area? i looked at kendall and robert morris (i think thats what their called) and got info from them. im interested in going to school for that next fall (or later). so yeah any real info would be appreciated.

Deanna said...

Doesn't SAIC have a culinary program? There's also some place called CHIC. Haha.

Jackie said...

thanks D!

ill look into those too.

Deanna said...

Wait, not SAIC...the Illinois Institute of Art. There's a distinction.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

robert morris college also has a culinary program. i think some community colleges do, too, but i don't know if it's like most other programs in that you'd then have to transfer to a "bigger" school.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

ok... so i have a choice to make.

i have two semesters left, and i have to either make one part-time or look all over for a class to bring me to 12 hours. so, should i get an elective requirement out of the way this semester? or...

put the elective off till the very end and take a moving image arts class and study alfred hitchcock all semester? i can't decide. what would y'all do?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rich said...

I dropped out!

Deanna said...

Study Hitchcock. And let me take the class for you.

Jackie said...

why aren't you online to entertain me rich?

Deanna said...

Rich, do you happen to have that Joy Division box? Bastards took it out of print, and I don't wanna pay $80 or more for a used copy...and I can't find anyone with it on Soulseek.

Deanna said...

Where's everyone been? Working? Ha!

My tights fell down while I was walking to work. It was really funny.

Jackie said...

i'm not working!

Richard said...


Yeah I have Joy Division box set. I cant believe its out of print!

I wasnt at work yesterday. I havent been feeling well the last week so I took a day off. I would have taken today off too, but I have to have yet mroe fucking computer training today from 2-4

Deanna said...

I hope you feel better Rich! I'll send you good vibes and soup!

Okay, this is pretty bad...I hadn't talked to Matt in like two weeks, and he messages me last night. Now he's got the landlord from hell issues. I TOLD HIM not to move in there, that he'd end up miserable for one reason or another, but noooooooooo, he did it anyway.

I hate pretending that I hate to say "I told you so," because I really love it.

Richard said...

Thanks for the good vibes, D. I wish I could just feel consistently bad. For an hour Im fine, then I feel kinda lousy. I just cant like get it over with and be sick.

Richard said...

Oh and poor matt

Deanna said...

Yeah, poor Matt for not listening to his ex-girlfriend's excellent intuition, haha.

Deanna said...

Do you have hot tea at work, Rich? That might help if you can get some...

Deanna said...

I am so thisclose to breaking out my mitten and working on it...I literally have NOTHING to do today. I can only take goofing off on the internet for so long.

Deanna said...

The mitten in question.

Richard said...

Very nice.

Richard said...

Hey Jackie...are you mad at me, every time I say hi on AIM you sign off!

Richard said...

got to do something when you dont feel well:

(from Jackie)

1) Are you an Aunt/Uncle?
No, but I'm the Mother of your mind.

2) Can you do a cartwheel?
Not sure. Since I box so much I'm very protective of my wrists. A cartwheel seems like unnecessary strain. I'll save my wrists for uppercuts and jabs.

3) What was the last movie you saw in theater?
The Queen Elizabeth sequel. A truly unique and unforgettable night. Not because of the movie.

4) Do you eat vegetables regularly?

5) If you were going to get a body piercing, where would you get it?
There's no fucking way I'd get a piercing.

6) Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
Frequently. I have very few male friends. My entire life I've been more comfortable with females. In Cicero, Jenny and Nicole were two of my favorite friends.

Heres something amazing---at 6 Jenny was my first kiss. When were 7, I somehow managed to talk Nicole into showing me her vagina. No touching or anything sexual. I was just really curious about what girls had down there.

7) What is the weather like right at this very moment?
Mid 40s. Sunny.

8) What is something that you can't wait for?
All the amazing albums I bought off E-Bay to show up. To write. To exercise.

9) How many times have you been to Canada?
Once in 1997. I was in between colleges and trying to finish Political Glitter (major bout of writers block- never had one before or since in the middle of a fucking book). I was fucking some lame girl. We'd only get together at like 1am so none of our mutual friends would see us together. I was fighting with my Dad every fucking day. I decided to get out of the country! Kristen came with. She was fed up with her life, too. We had a wonderful time up there. For a week we had no identities or personalities. Kristen watched a lot of America's Castles. We covered all of Toronto on foot. Came back to America, enrolled in Triton (appeasing my father), finished the book and told the lame girl we wouldnt be fucking any more. The girl introduced me to Becky. Kristen and I started on Cesarian. Life went on. As it does.

10) Have you ever had a reptile as a pet?
Yeah, I had an iguana for a few spells in 1993. Michelle kept it for a while as well. Michelle gave the iguana the fucking terrible name Lizard Lizard Lizard. I used to carry it around on my shoulder. We had a special bond. The iguana later died when it went back to Nazareth. Some dueche dropped something on it.

11) What is your favorite fruit?

12) What song is on your profile right now?
"Love Canal" by Flipper. One of the greatest fucking songs ever. I love Flipper beyond words. Amazing perfect fucking band. Amazing perfect fucking song. Will Shatter wrote it.

13) Who was your last missed call on your phone?
Apparently I missed a call from Tim yesterday. I wish I hadnt. Hopefully, we'll talk tonight.

14) Where are you most ticklish?
The roof of my mouth.

15) How many hours a week do you normally work?
Approximately 119 hours a week.

16) Who's your number 1 on myspace?
I'm not sure, but Id have to imagine Liz.

17) Do you have deep dark secrets?
Nothing interesting.

18) When was the last time you were sick?
I feel kinda lousy right now, so that counts.

19) What color is your car?

20) How many siblings do you have?

21) Have you ever gotten caught sneaking out?
No, but the cops busted me coming back in.

22) Did you ever try running away from home when you were younger?
Yeah, when I was 4. I decided to run away. No particular reason. At the time I hadnt figured out how to put on a pull-over shirt. My mother must have heard me, and comes to see what Im up to. Its 3am. She sees a garbage bag with stuffed animals and clothes in it, and me wrearing jeans shoes and socks and struggling to put on my favorite yellow and red striped shirt. She says "Richie, what are you doing"? I say "Im running away would you help me put my shirt on"?

23) What makes you the happiest?
Freedom. Peace of mind. Levi Stubbs' voice. Liz. Breathing.

24) How do you feel when you see a child at the store throwing a "tantrum"?
Ashamed as an American.

25) Where do you want to be right now?
Somewhere silent.

26) Have you ever finished a Rubik's Cube?
Yeah, I used to peel the stickers off. This would be about 1983. Everyone thought I was a genius Rubik's master. Little did they know!

27) When is the last time you drank too much?
Like, alcohol? I don't drink alcohol. You see, I have self respect. I also respect others. Alcohol is liquid self hatred/liquid denial. It's purely evil and is created by people who hate you more than they hate themselves. These are not opinions, they are facts. Not to sound arrogant (though Im sure I do), but I have yet to be proven wrong on this. Also, I dont take drugs (with the exception of Excedrin). Clarity and creativity and peace of mind and objectivity and self respect are hard enough to maintain without fucking poisoning yourself. Is it ironic that people I look up to include Bruce Loose, Jim Morrison, Timothy Leary, William Burroughs, Basquiat, Ken Kesey etc? No, of course not. Get a fucking brain if you think its some sort of contradiction. Some people will always assume you're as stupid as they are.

28) Whose your number 2 on myspace?
Jackie? D? Bruce Loose? Dave Markey? Neil Young?

29) Do you have any vacation plans for this summer?
Liz and I would like to travel through New England.

30) Where were you 1 hour ago?
Right here waiting for you.

31) Who will be your next kiss?
Liz, I guess.

32) Do you kiss a lot of people?
No. I don't make any physical contact.

33) Are you wearing socks right now?
Yes, as always.

34) When was the last time you went out of state?
When Liz, D, Jackie and myself went apple picking

35) Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days?

36) What was the last thing you had to drink?
Grape juice.

37) What are you wearing right now?
My black sweater, black trousers so faded they appear to be grey and my stupid work shoes.

38) What was your last purchase?
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, probably the Not So Quiet On The Western Front comp CD. Or maybe that Daises movie.

40) Have you bought any clothing items in the last week?
Not for myself.

41) Are you wishing you were with someone in particular?
Well Liz and I will be together tonight, so I can be paitent.

42) What is in the backseat of your car?

43. Three words to explain why you last threw up?
I can't remember.

44. Do you like to cuddle?
Go fuck right off.

45. What was the last movie you watched?
POV Perversions Part 7 starring the lovely Natasha Nice.

46. Have you ever owned a sports car?

47. Do you celebrate holidays?

48. Do you like scrabble?

49. Where did you attend high school?
Fuck Off.

50. Favorite scent?
Napalm in the morning?

51. Do you like mornings?

52. Last television program you watched?
Art In The City with that terrible dueche host.

53. Spell your name with no vowels.
Rchrd Mtthw Mchl Jsph Mlltt

54. Does your neighbor have an animal that annoys you?
Don't even get me started on that little motherfucker. There will be a day of reckoning.

55. Does your family own any boats?
My uncle has a few. Wish I had one of my own.

56. Something you can't live without?
Inspiration. Joy. Water.

57. Do you wear flip flops constantly?
I fucking despise you.

59. Do you have air conditioning in your room?
We have fancy pants central air and heat.

60. Have you ever found true love?

61. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Eating a salad in the basement.

62. How often do you read books?
I don't need to read books, I fucking write great ones.

65. Describe the computer you are currently using.
Fancy work HP model.

66. How long does it take you to get ready to go out?
A matter of seconds.

67. Will you donate your organs after you pass?
Absolutely not.

68. Have you been outside of the USA?
Yes. England & Canada.

69. Would you ever get your nipple pierced?
Fucking kill yourself.

70. Do you believe in marriage?
Yes. Promises to God are sacred and important. Promising love and selflessness and caring and honesty to another person to God is even more sacred and important. Marriage is a beautiful challenge. Lou Reed used the term a great adventure. That's apt. Gay people should be able to get married. It's a fucking travesty that they cant. Downright un-American.

Jackie said...


i'll be back later when you are back from lunch cuz this aim is being a real wack-a-doodle.

Jackie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jackie said...

my aim is totally working now!

Richard said...


Deanna said...

I finished my mitten! Now it's time to start the other one!

Deanna said...

Carrie Brownstein's blog is really irritating. Her whole "I'm not attractive enough to be an NPR listener" crap made me want to throw up. And she likes really lame music now.

Whatever. Maybe I'll care if she stopped pandering to trends and fishing for compliments.

Richard said...

My thoughts exactly Deanna! Its pretty lame-ass

Richard said...

1. Last night I watched Black Snake Moan. It was suprisingly much better than I though it would be. Not nearly as exploitative and Wild Things-esque the advertising would lead one to believe. Justin Timberlake has the makings of a decent dramatic actor. Chrisitna Ricci was good, but I hate her new anorexic body. I cant believe its the same person I thought was so beautiful in Buffalo '66.

The big attraction for me though was Samuel L Jackson. He sings and plays guitar in the movie very well! Plus he turned in one of his best performances. He really deserves his movie stardom, he's a very talented guy.

So, while not a great cinematic classic masterpiece, if you have nothing better to do its worth making ordering a pizza and watching.

2. I somehow managed to set up a trade for the Yoko Ono/Thurston Moore 1999 Knitting Factory show last night. The guy who Im doing the trade with is really cool. It's always the ones who I anticipate being jerks who are the most helpful and honest.

So, come Feb, you'll get to revel in the splendour.

Jackie said...

see, there's a reason to like justin timberlake! unless you are being sarcastic, haha.

sorry about aim, it's really pissing me off. apparently i've tried to sign in too many times, so hopefully ill talk to you later.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

hey guys, simone won first prize for her film at a german film festival!

Deanna said...

Holy shit, dude...that show sounds amazing.

Hey, lay off Justin. I personally have a sincere appreciation for his work, even if I don't listen to it. It's far superior than most stuff on pop radio and somehow more creative than most "indie" pap these days.

Oh, the new Yellow Swans LP sounds really fucking cool. I still haven't picked up the last one yet...I'm too poor for there to be good records coming out.

Deanna said...

Yay Simone! Give her my congratulations! How's her apartment situation working out?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

i think the owner has backed off. that being said, simone has to move in december. connie, her roommate, is going back to germany at the end of the semester so simone will have to find a new roommate and cheaper apartment because she can't pick up connie's portion on her own. so if anyone knows someone will will need a roommate in december... let me know.

Jackie said...

no, i really enjoy justin timberlake actually. and rich has made fun of me several times for it.

and congrats to simone!

Jackie said...

too bad i wont be in chicago in december, that would work out so well!

Richard said...

Who was putting down justin timberlake? I said he has the makings of a good dramatic actor. I think thats a pretty straightforward compliment. Hes onyl done like 2 movies. He's off to a decent start.

Now in far more important news...NEVERMIND the Carrie Brownstein blog, my favorite member of Nirvana the fucking GREAT Krist Noveselic has started a blog. And as one could expect its filled with great intelligence. "Yourself does not mean alone". Fuck yes, Krist. I'm with you.

Richard said...

For all you cat lovers, go to loveisonlysleeping.com (one of my favorite websites) and look at the main page photo.

Jackie said...

that cat is so fucking cute!

i feel like i'm becoming more of a cat person after having to take care of this douche dog i'm living with.

Jackie said...

my aim is working now!

Deanna said...

I can't figure out if that's supposed to be adorable or retarded. Cute cat, though.

Richard said...

it cant be both???

Jackie said...

god, i'm so bored.

Deanna said...

I'm bored, too...and I can't get away with knitting today. Well, maaaaaaaybe I can...

Richard said...

Well Im not bored! Ive been taking Xtra Hardfuckincore Tylenol so i can exercise tonight. Im filled with anticipation.

(cue awful Carly Simon song)

Deanna said...

Ugh, now that horse face is in my head. Thanks, Rich.

Jackie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jackie said...

rich! i have another survey for you to do! i might try to come online in a bit too because it's so fucking slow at work.

Richard said...

Ok heres the survey...

Richard said...

80 Questions that are never Asked
If you could take credit for writing one song, which would it be?:
Revolution 9.

If you could play one instrument perfectly?:

If you could play one sport perfectly?:
I would of course be the welterweight champion of the world

If you could speak a second language perfectly?:
I'd love to learn Italian and Japanese

If you could own a house in another country, which would you choose?:
Wales or Switzerland or Iceland or Greenland or Norway

If you could have all the knowledge of one profession, which?:
The head of Bilderburg.

If you had to choose one candy you could have from now on, which?:

If you could meet one living celeb, who would it be?:
Wow, everyone Im thinking of is dead. This is getting morbid.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?:
I like the names Tony and Keith. So maybe one of those.

If you had to change lives with a friend for a week, who would you choose?:
I'd only change lives if I wanted to go slumming!

If you could read one person's thoughts for a day, who would you choose?:
Dick Cheney

If you could have one car, what would you choose?:
One of those old Alfa Romeos I used to be obsessed with as a kid.

If you could have one X men power, which?:
Can one of them control time? Thats what I want.

What's your favorite word?:

What's your favorite smell(s)?:
I hate the smell of basically everything

What noise do you love?:
I hate noise. I will ALWAYS choose silence.

What noise do you hate?:
See above.

What turns you on?:
I'm never off. If this question is related to something sexually, I have no sexuality.

What turns you off?:

One profession you'd hate to do?:
Ambulance driver. Exterminator. Cop.

What's one song that you hate?:
That fucking Walking In Memphis song has been following me forever.

What's one song you secretly love?:
"The Nearness Of You"

What city feels most like home to you?:
Nagasaki, Japan

Would you rather cook or bake?:
I love when Liz does either.

Do you prefer sweet or savory foods?:
I have no idea what that means.

What is you job title?:
Resource Information Specialist: Form B Database Specialist

Do you like your boss?:
At times.

What's your favorite dog?:
German Shepherd

Describe the best tattoo you ever saw?:
The guy who cut his dick off.

If you have tats, which is the most special?:
Tattoos are so fucking stupid. Why the fuck do people get them?

Descibe your tats and when you got them.:
Well you see, I'm not a worthless asshole, so as a result I dont tattoos.

Descibe your mom/mother figure in 5 words.:
Alive, Female, Human, Peroxided, American

Decribe your dad/father figure in 5 words.:
Alive, Male, Human, Bald, American

What's your best friend's name?:

Describe him/her in 5 words.:
Air, Water, Fire, Metal, Land

What's your favorite day of the week?:

What's your favoirte holiday? Why?:
Arbor Day

If you had to marry, what time of year would you choose?:
I am married, and it doesnt fucking matter what time of year.

If you have sex with a friend, who would you choose?:
I don't have any friends, and I never have sex. Next question.

Do you smoke?
No, dickhead.

What's your favorite juice?:

What's your favorite fruit?:

Are you a morning person?:
I'm a person. I exist at all times.

What do you order at Starbucks?:
I've never ordered at Starbucks. Go fuck your mom.

What do you order at Del Taco?:

Do you like Sushi?

What's your favoirte body part on the sex you prefer?:
Index fingers. I dont oogle women. I'm not a sexist fuck. Fuck you. I dont find women attractive or unattractive. It doesnt fucking mean anything. Get your stupid sad little mind out of the gutter. And learn to spell, dipshit.

What's your favorite curse word?:
Language is not obscene. Your stupidity is.

What's your favorite reality TV show?:
Brady Bunch.

What's the best wireless service?:
A taser gun.

Best place to buy an outfit?:
I havent bought clothes in at least 10 years. Dont be so fucking superficial.

How often do you hang out with friends?:
Never. I dont "hang out". I dont have "friends". You're a simpleton.

Do you do relationships?:
For what purpose?

Do you want to get married someday?:
I got married in October 2003.

What's your favorite name?:
Elijah Muhammad

If you had to live with one person as your roommate, who would you choose?:
Abu Abdallah

What's your favorite nickname?:

What do you order at Subway?:
A homeless guy to pee on you.

What's your favorite beer?:
As you can see, I'm an intelligent and sensitive adult. I dont kill myself with poison.

Do you like wine?:
Well gosh, Id rather drink Clorox. It gets the job done more accurately.

Would you rather go dancing with friends, or have coffee with friends?:
Id rather have my "friends" sign checks over to pay me for my time.

How many hours a week do you work/go to school?:

Name one song you could sing all the way through even without it playing?:
"Mack The Knife"

Name on band that sings lyrics that relate most to your life?:
Anal Cunt.

Do you like your city?:

What are the words/phrases you say the most?:
My lexicon is ever changing. I'm not limited like you are. Enjoy your life sentence in mental prison. Im on the outside laughing at you.

Would you rather call or text?:
I dont text. I dont call. I'm telepathic and intuitive. Traits you could never grasp.

What movie makes you cry the most?:
The last time I cried was very personal and not related to some stupid movie or tampon commercial where the puppy finds a home or whatever soft headed bullshit manipulates your emotions.

What's your favorite christmas movie?:

What would you name a dog?:

What would you name a horse?:

Did you ever babysit as a teenager? Who?:
These two kids. I hated it so I called my girlfriend at the time to come and take over. I took the money. I hate the 5 year old change the diaper of his infant brother.

Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains?:
I was watching something about climbing volcanoes in Hawaii yesterday. I want to do that.

Can you snowboard or ski?:

What's your favorite book? Why?:
I don't read books. I've never completed a book in my life. I don't see the point. I fucking write books. Thats all the books I need.

Favorite Disney character?:
Bugs Bunny

Favorite Theme Park?:
I dont go to things like that.

How many people have you had sex with?:
Too many. Total waste of time and energy. Pointless activity.

What annoys you the most?:

Did you like this survey?:
It was fucking terrible and you should be ashamed.

Deanna said...

Kanye West's mom died while having plastic surgery.

While it's sad when people's moms die, I'm always amused when it's during a facelift or something. Like they were asking for it.

Does that make me a bad person?

Richard said...

No it doesnt make you a bad person.

Should people die for their vanity? Like, as a punishment. No, of course not. But it doesnt generate a tremendous amount of sympathy or pity.

In very sad death news, Haley Paige died. Apparently she was either an overdose a suicide or was murdered by her husband of two weeks. He has since killed himself. Very sad. She seems to have had a very terrible life. Molested by an uncle, repeatedly raped at school, adulthood of drug addiction and being married just for a green card by one husband then beaten up possibly murdered by the 2nd and finally dead at 25.

Deanna said...

Jesus, that is sad.

Deanna said...

According to Wikipedia, she was killed back in August. Her husband was considered the primary suspect but committed suicide before further investigation could be made.

Richard said...

Yeah. I found out on saturday night. I guess her body wasnt discovered for two weeks.

Deanna said...

Tim, pointing your finger at me while I'm not looking in your direction is not a very effective way of saying hi.

Richard said...

For the record, Sad Movies is not from the late 90's, but was apparently written in 1976. In case anyone was curious

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

I guess thats consistent with the fact that I wasnt necessarily saying hi. But umm, great show, huh? of course it was.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

d, what's your employment situation for the next 2-3 weeks?

Deanna said...

I'm not sure...I know my current assignment ends this week, but I haven't been told what day yet.

Tim, thanks for clearing that up. Sorry for screaming at you to turn off your fucking iPod while walking down State. Whats-his-face was really entertained by it, at least...

By the way, he actually moved around a bit in a way that, in some alternate universe, might be construed as dancing. I was shocked.

Richard said...

Last night's GENIUS instrumental was called (wait for it)...Sultan!

Which night was better? What a stupid question. Both.

Deanna said...

In case you feel like losing a lot of faith in humanity.

I'm so jealous that you guys got to go both nights...but Monday was so fucking incredible, I don't think I could have handled two in a row.

Richard said...

those parents are absurd.

Richard said...

Ok, I set up a 14 disc trade today and one for PiL's very first concert. Not a bad fucking day!