It's important to vote, fuck off. You should know why. Or dont vote. Freedom is free from the need to be free.
Anyway, I just want to announce Im voting for my man Mitt Romney. Why?
1) He's Mormon. So right off the bat, he's mad and has no qualms about announcing it. I'll take 100 Mormons over 1 Huckabee style Intelligent Design christian lunatic. Whats the difference between the two? Perception!
2) McCain is an old fucking war pig. Romney has never fought for anything, including and especially his own beliefs, more on that below.
3) In the beginning, there was Reagan. Then Bush which was Reagan II: Pride & Prejudice. Clinton was little more than Reagan with half the fat and 1/4 the salt. Then we had Bush II: Reagen to the X-Treme!!! McCain's been there for all of it. He's an old war pig. Romney is an entirely different breed of pig. We need new blood! Romney as Ive noted is not a war pig. He voted for withdrawing at least some troops.
4) Romney is as close to pro-choice as a Republican can get these days.
5) Romney is/was like an investment bankers or some shit. He's not a war pig. He's a corporate pig. In other words, if you can convince him its financially viable, he'll go for it...which leads me to...
6) This motherfucker has no beliefs or values. In '94 he was the Pro-Choice republican. He has no backbone, and more importantly NO discernable moral or religious agenda. He is created by money and for money. In other words, he's a snake and we all know what we're dealing with.
7) Unlike McCain or Huckabee, he doesnt play the Daddy role. He is utterly unable to, I find that to be a great strength in any candidate.
8) If elected, Romney wants to "enforce" obscenity laws! A paragraph down he defends free speech. I admire anyone that insane and absurd. He wants to provoke a culture showdown? I say, bring it on.
9) McCain's people started a smear campaign cuz Romney talked shti about Reagan 10 years ago. The line was "if we cant trust him on Reagan, what can we trust him on?" I shouldnbt even have to explain why I think this is fucking brilliant. The Republicans are superb at keeping up appearances. Romney could be the man to fracture that for decades to come. Anything to create hatred and infighting and wedge them apart. Did you see Mitt & McCain argue about who's more conservative? Best TV comedy in years!
10) How can you resist this super solid head of teflon hair???
11) He's just so gross, totally unlovable. I love it.
12) He actually said this: "There is little risk of STD infection from playing with pee.”