Thursday, July 31, 2008

You've got to be fucking kidding me

HOUSTON (AP) Exxon Mobil is reporting second-quarter earnings of $11.68 billion, the largest quarterly profit ever by a U.S. corporation

Lifted by record crude prices, Exxon Mobil says its second-quarter earnings rose nearly 14 percent to $11.68 billion, the biggest quarterly profit ever by any U.S. corporation.

The world's largest publicly traded oil company said Thursday its net income for the April-June period came to $2.22 a share, up from $10.26 billion, or $1.83 a share, a year ago.

Revenue rose 40 percent to $138.1 billion from $98.4 billion in the year-earlier quarter.

Excluding an aftertax charge of $290 million related to an Exxon Valdez court settlement, earnings amounted to $11.97 billion, or $2.27 per share.

Analyst on average expected Exxon Mobil to earn $2.52 a share on revenue of $144 billion, according to a survey by Thomson Financial. The estimates typically exclude one-time items.

12 comments:

Richard said...

See...theres proof were not in recession. Everything kicks ass! Here America, enjoy watching Dont Forget The Lyrics.

There was a giant sheetof ice that broke loose inthe Arctic Circle yesterday. As a genius on AOL news commented "all that ice and no martini. man made global warming is a myth made up by liberals to control you."

And by god, he's right!

Richard said...

oh and dont forget Obama is little more than a Britney Spears. Which makes McCain...umm Fatty Arbuckle?

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

what i love about america is this new wave of television shows that has people doing ridiculous things over water (like jumping on big balls or through an oscillating ring) so they get hit and fall and probably hurt themselves pretty badly. i think it's call "wipeout." that's hilarious. and then there's "i survived a japanese game show." and then there's this show where a panel of "celebrities" like corbin bernsen and the guy from "america's most wanted" and the woman from "reba" make wagers on whether they think the performer--a child on rollerskates on the episode i saw at the gym--can do their stunt or not. glorifying gambling on primetime television. beautiful.

Deanna said...

I need to find out if the life insurance policies that both my grandmother and my mom have on me will pay benefits if I shoot myself in the face. Because this makes me want to do that in the worst way.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

i think it only pays if some castoff from "survivor" shoots you in the face.

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

oh, and it's has to be on tv. or youtube at the least.

Richard said...

Liz, you totally forgot about the ultimate of them all VH-1's I LOVE MONEY!

Richard said...

oh and Corbin Bernsen is the perfect judge...and also VERY believable on those new injury lawsuit commercials he's been doing. Truly, a man of unlimited talents.

And I almost forgot his stirring performance in Major League 2.

Deanna said...

As entertaining as all of these TV show references that I DO NOT UNDERSTAND are, I have to caffeinate myself and get breakfast. I have to move all of my earthly possessions from one "gentrifying" neighborhood to another this afternoon, and Exxon Mobil will get to make a few more bucks offa me.

Richard said...

Thats a the spirit D

Good luck

Glad its not us

On a side note, Ive never seen anyof the shows in question...I'm pretty sure Liz hasnt either unless shes watching some crazy (terrible) shit when shes downstairs doing laundry

que ferions-nous sans vous pour nous guider? said...

no, i saw these shows at the gym. i can't hear any of them, but i don't think i want to, so that's ok. they have five or six tvs on at all times on fox, cnn, abd, cbs, nbc, and maybe one other channel. awful.

Deanna said...

I'm double fisting the caffeine right now, by the way. Coffee AND green tea. I'm going to shit a baby and die by 4pm.

I'm almost sad that I'm moving to a place with a TV AND cable. I feel spoiled by not having such luxuries in so long...if that makes sense.