Monday, January 17, 2011

Straight Ta Shots!!!


aww shit, step aside Fabio!  It appears Tom Hanks has another son who's a bigger dork than Collin and Tom himself.  Whole World:  Give it up for Northwestern student, CHET HAZE!!!  Ladies, please leave yr panties at the door.  excuse me maybe I didn't explain myself.  It appears Chet, Haze, that is, is an up-and-coming hip-hop artist.  I'm guessing Tom hanks is badgered endlessly for this at his quarterly meetings in the head of the statue of liberty.
     
And now....Like I said about the panties....
OK...................................................................................?  Let's take a step back and investigate the roots of Mr. Haze, the DNA...what made him him???

24 comments:

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

“White kicks / Purple kush / This is college, hittin’ blunts after hittin’ books.”

you gotta respect that, dawg. a head who's responsible

The Talking Beach Ball said...

it totally kicks the ass of anything on that new Kanye album, lets hear it for the douchebags!

The Play Tone Label Head said...

I dont know much about Chet Haze, but his father did star in Tha Last Ni**a On Earth, and rumor has it Chet himself is a kung fu hippie from gangsta city, and is also a rappin surfer, and you are the fool he pities

Remember Me, I'm Peter Scalari said...

OF COURSE the Hanks kid would be the responsible head, I would be appalled my anything less, I bet when the clock chimes midnight he even says "hey guys, I mean, my main homies, dont you think we've all had enough? wont it be best to save some for later (clears throat), aww yeah"

Joe The Volcano said...

"I'm tryin to walk the walk/for the major of my choosin", I detect a lil ghost writing from Tom himself here

Asher Roth said...

Why, this fellow is completely derivative of me! Why, it's as if he looked at another white rapper and decided to do everything exactly the same, only stupider. My indignation knows no bounds

Eminem said...

the retard son of the retard son of the retard son, hmm, I think I just my whole new album

Eminiem Again said...

Hmm, the paint fumes must be gettin to be

Forrest Gump said...

I dont know why youre talkin about ladies droppin panties, Chet makes it quite clear that he is having a committed sexual relationship with a Freshman, who is a freak in the bed and a lady in the street, like ultimate dream combo of Tila Tequila and Kate Hudson, except with smaller boobies

Thurston Moore said...

um, I don't know. It appears he's ionized the media of internalization core. In addition it appears he smokes a lot of nutmug (what we call it up northeast way.) I can certainly admire that.

PS--I just wanted you all to know that yr all beautiful. and also that I love you.

Thurston Moore said...

Now please come to my blog and look at the picture I've just taken of my face next to a random book cover.

The Rael Deel said...

these poems burn with a splendour of their own

pearls splinters heart landscapes...

it seems New York treasures unexpected gardens & temples amidst & marrying all its violence & chaos,so many astonishingly beautiful nuances, prisms, secrets, ruins, caves, crystals, flowers... eternal playground epiphany for the eternal kid within us

Super Normal Sez said...

Hey! Over Here! I sup[erimosed Rimbuad's face over Hendrix's hair! Come on! Pleeeeaase!

I'm so not normal, I'm so crazy and wild and creative none of you could ever hope to understand me said...

....................... Member of a heretic sect called UNEMPLOYMENT/ IDLENESS ****** currently based in Paris, with a bomb book, "FUCK THE REST -love poems & other lies" ( 1st print edited by Prescaction Editions, France, especialized in polemic underground books bombing with classy debauchery ),containing mindblowing hand-written snapshots amp; objets-volés & wild visions from his countless wanderings through cityscapes & purgatories, holy streets & dingy hotels, bodies & bars, his turbulent stay in London, Paris & Amsterdam, besides other stopovers & deliriums about Ayahuasca in South-America & some parallel floating island halfway between New York & Paris, bonus tracks with his early escapades & writings, and a hallucinating "manifesto" written when the author was 16 , caged in a reform school ),--plus a visual poetry album ( BOOM - chaos poetry vandalism ) & SCHIZOPoP MANIFESTO, primarily released as posters for street assault & our own exhibitions, chaotic broadsheets & postcards - but still officially UNPUBLISHED

Staggering Complexity said...

Oh! Hey!! yr that hoboemian that I've heard so so much about! Ive heard you really live life on the girders!.. The other night when I heard a sonic boom in the sky, was that you breaking the subreality perception dynamic contaminator index??? well done, sir or madam!

Mr Brainwash said...

Well, I would have a-done it firste, but I need the 121 giggowatts somehting something andy warhol something something subversion of the art something thing somehting all art is a the brainwash something something andy warhol

Michael Rapaport said...

I know exactly what you speak of, mr. brainwash. It's the secret recipe! And it's just what I hear when i listen to Tribe Called Quest!

Chet Haze said...

M Rap! My man, Ive never heard ATCQ, but dude, I remeber you from your guest shots on Kennan N Kel, that was the stupidest shit on tv, yo! Bottoms up! Bottoms up! Respect the foundation. And we out. Word to your mother. Hi Mom, you were great in Cheech N Chongs Next Movie, thats where I learned to get my smoke on, oh yeah and big ups to the dude postin my shit hewre and supportin me, hit me up in itunes

Police said...

The interwebs, which we've been tipped off is a series of tubes, has finally gone too far, we've confiscated the video, and we suggest you cease your mockery of pop culture figures, especially a national treasure like Mr Hanks. The RIAA will contacting you next. Watch your head. Have a good day, gentlemen

Julian Casablancas said...

Before I started my incredible musical career appropriating Television and The Velvets, I was an early hip hop pioneer with Mr Hanks, in the crazy subreality perception dynamic contaminator index breaking/defying body switch movie, Big. Consider the torch passed, Haze...its your turn to shine, now!

Chet Haze said...

Hold up, hold up, son, this post just did the REEEEEEEEMIX!

Akon said...

(sings something with Auto-Tune over the re-mix)

Andy "Samburglar" Sandler Sandbag Samberg said...

a lil somethin like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQlIhraqL7o

Chet Haze said...

Yo Andy, Mr Funny Man, you think this is a fuckin joke, kid? You think this is fuckin funny? I aint no joke, son! You wanna step to me, bitch?

Oh, yeah and could you give me Akon's digits, itd be great if he could sing the hook on my next club banger, its about NW football team