Wednesday, June 11, 2014

A Brief Look At "Grandma" Candy

1) Starlight Mints
2) Butterscotch hard candy in sunshine yellow tinted wrappers
3) those weird strawberry hard candies in the wrapping paper designed to look like a strawberry, with that gross red syrup inside,
4) Root Beer hard candy shaped like little barrels
5) Brach's tri-coloured square shaped candy, originally chewy- been in the dish for so many years, it's now stale
6) Brach's tube shaped caramel candy with that weird pink glop on the end.
7) ONE Tootsie Roll.  Dig all you want, you'll never find another.  Remove it, it's magically replaced.
8) Those oval pale green or pale pink things that turn out to to be black licorice in disguise
9) Some Grandmas had circus peanuts in plentiful supply.  Not mine, though.
10) Halloween for Grandma doesn't mean fun size Snickers, it means candy corn.
11) Ribbon candy.  Another one my Grandmother never, ever had.
12) Werhters originals
13) Nips.  I used to work with this horrible, flatulent old woman named Bernie, who sucked on Nips all the live long day.
14) Little lemon wedges w/ jelly-like texture
15) Jimmy Nokes' Grandma had a dish full of just good'n'plenty's.  Obviously, she was evil.

special mention) cod liver oil pills

add your own!


Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

is this one of those lists that goes around facebook? either way I know and love all these candies. I wonder if bull's eyes count for this category, love those! junior mints? love them.

a better list would be grandmas favorite words for black people. culminating with names grandmas give to food that include derogatory terms for black people.

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

also candy corn is wonderful. sometimes i dream that Im standing in the rain naked and the rain turns into candy corn and at first it hurts but then i love it and it tastes wonderful.

Rich said...

I just made this up while waiting for a batch to process at work

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

when I worked at baskin-robbins I invented The Tim. we take two scoops of french vanilla ice cream, marshmallow fluff deeply saturated in simple syrup, topped with an unholy layer of rainbow jimmies and a maraschino cherry on top for nutrition. fuck you up.

Rich said...

Oh my god, that sounds...really intense. And thats while Annihilate This Week was playing?

On the candy front, my Mom was Jr. Mints freak, and I thoroughly second your enthusiasm for candy corn.

Rich said...

My faves from the list include

The little root beer candy
Werhters originals
the lemon wedges
tootsie rolls, of course

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

no, even more intense a hard days night! (and the occasional repeater)

Rich said...

Actually, I was debating going with the BF or Repeater reference haha

Rich said...

A Hard Day's Night, though...very cool. I didn't know about that one.

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

I was dumb about BF then. like how many people claim there are only two good funkadelic albums. Sheri and I destroyed HDN though. 2or3 times per shift for days and months and years. I dare say its the one beatles album i have listened to more than you even.

then this one dude in high school loaned me VU&N and we played that fucker into the ground.

the great thing about old people candy is it recognized caramel and especially butterscotch for all the sugary gloriousness that it contains. this generation is all about the chocolate..probably why this country's gone to hell. i doubt teddy roosevelt used to reach into his satchel after a day of rough riding and pop a choc-O-Lot in his mouth.

Rich said...

Ah, dont go sellin yourself short there, Tim. You were young, but still smart enough to get My War etc. Shit, you were into Everything Went Black. How many kids could be bothered? I just remember I made you (and I think Jon as well) a BF tape, and you blasting Annihilate This Week at BR. I loved the image of that!

I love that here we're two hardcore A Hard Day's Night enthusiasts, and yet we've never really discussed that album. Next phone conversation. A must.

Was I that dude? Did I in fact, loan you that album? I remember playing them for you (specifically 1969 Live), but I only ever remember actually putting Highway 61 and AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted in your hands.

This generation is stupidly obsessed with chocolate. And somehow incorporating a skull and crossbones over a heart or something, to accompany it.

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

You were in fact that dude! The big three that I recall were VU&N, Highway 61 (the cassette version) and Bitch's Brew. You played 'what goes on' one day after school for me, with the trippy lightshow circular thing slashing to lou's guitar flicking.

I remember sheri and I trying to figure out who that female singer was on 'sunday morning' when we first played it at BR. "It's not Warhol, right?" but for a second it was.

yes, we should definitely discuss the most joyful album on the planet next time we chat.

Rich said...

So, VU album roll call
By late 1994 I had…

The Words & Music Of Lou Reed (cassette) I got in 1992

1969 Live (vinyl) I got in 1993

VU&N (CD) I got in…mid ’94??? (I think The Mug later made off with this copy)

And I got you into VU&N…

…and somehow Jon got into them and got The Words & Music Of Lou Reed on CD…

…and Chelsea Girls (where did THAT come from?!)

…and which one of you had the copy of WL/WH as discussed in Clit Spankin’…

Which was the first time I ever heard that album!

My copy of WL/WH purchased about a week after our Dells excursion was (I think) also lifted by The Mug.

And at some point in early ’95, you got a stand alone copy of Loaded…

And VU and/or Another View…

…and the third album with that horrible “band mix” (har har)

…and I had nothing else, because I held out for the box set (?!)

…so by Spring ’95, you had absorbed more of their music than I had, which is interesting.

I did not get a LR solo album until Dec ’95, which was (of course) Transformer

Then through ’96 & ’97, I bought the rest

I did not have stand alone copies of VU/Another View until I stole them from Kristen’s CD booklet in 1998

I did not own a stand alone version of Loaded until I bought the Deluxe reissue

I have never owned a stand alone of the 3rd album

And shit, Live At Max’s…I bought in like 2001 or something

Where and when did you start getting the LR stuff?

I was a late bloomer with Nico too. Early 21st century, for most of it

Oh and Cale…but lets not get into him, because this will go to novel lengths

Am I remembering any of this wrong?

Rich said...

I'll comment on the rest of this in a bit

Rich said...

Wow, I have no memory of doing the light show. Why did I used to be into that thing? It was so stupid. Did I do What Goes On, and It's Alright Ma in the same sitting? I feel like I did.

Now, here's the funny thing, I had convinced myself that I hadn't given you Bitches Brew. That we had only talked about it, and that you went and bought your own copy. Weird.

But I think you're right. I think I did give that to you.

Rich said...

That cassette copy of Highway 61 was bought at the Prange Way in Rhinelander. They had one Dylan cassette. The rest of their selection was truly a wasteland. We were on our annual Summer trip there. I had only brought Fear Of A Black Planet, Blonde On Blonde, and the Words & Music Of Lou Reed comp. That was it for one week.I went minimalist haha. Anyway, I sat up and listened to Highway 61 repeatedly on our first night there. The next night, I stayed up all night, writing Prostate Of The Union.

To think there was a time when the only Dylan I had was the cassette of Blonde On Blonde, Harry Nilsson's cover of Subterranean Homesick Blues, and Like A Rolling Stone which was on a Rolling Stone magazine "History Of Rock" CD I got for free, compliments of my Columbia House subscription.

Rich said...

Here It Is: The Bowie Interview

Rich said...

Hey, Turns out the reason why we didn't recognize some of the songs the Swans played, it because 3 of them were new

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

yeah, I saw that. three of the SIX

Rich said...

Fuckin cool, huh? For Album number four since the formation? Bring it on

Rich said...

Seemed like so much more than six haha

Mr Bigpants Cock (of the) Walk said...

the casette archiving has officially begun today! 45 minutes in I found the infamous "folk troubadour" field recording!! It was labeled "I Thought I Was A Feminist"!!!