It's A Swindle!

*- From my great friend Frederick Yahoo who is the billionaire in charge of Yahoo news.

PARIS - At least two Picasso paintings, worth a total of nearly $66 million, were stolen from the artist's granddaughter's house in Paris, police said Wednesday

The paintings, "Maya and the Doll" and "Portrait of Jacqueline," disappeared overnight Monday to Tuesday from the chic 7th arrondissement, or district, a Paris police official said.
The official, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to speak to the media, said they were worth nearly $66 million, and that there were signs of breaking and entering in the house.

Though police only mentioned the two paintings, the director of the Picasso Museum, Anne Baldassari, said several paintings and drawings were stolen from the home of Diana Widmaier-Picasso.

"It was a very large theft," she said, without giving details.

"Maya and the Doll" is a colorful portrait of a young blonde girl in pigtails, eyes askew in a Cubist perspective. Another version of the painting hangs in the Picasso Museum. It portrays Maya Widmaier, the daughter of Picasso and Marie-Therese Walter, his companion from 1924-1944.
Maya married Pierre Widmaier had three children, Olivier, Richard and Diana Widmaier-Picasso, an art historian and author of a book called "Art Can Only be Erotic."

No other details of the theft were immediately available.

The Art Loss Register, which maintains the world's largest database on stolen, missing and looted art, currently lists 444 missing Picasso pieces, including paintings, lithographs, drawings and ceramics.

Among recent missing Picassos reported to the register was the theft of an abstract watercolor stolen in Mexico, said staff member Antonia Kimbell.

The number of missing Picassos is so high simply because Picasso was so prolific, Kimbell said. She said the Paris theft was "definitely quite significant."

"Anything of particularly good quality, with the provenance of his granddaughter, would reach considerable value on the open market," Kimbell said.

But major pieces, when stolen, usually sell for a pittance, if at all, on the black market because potential buyers are afraid to touch them.

"It's unlikely a legitimate dealer would purchase or acquire any of these pieces," Kimbell said.

Non-Fiction. Non-Symbolic. Simple, Linear & True.

I walked past The Killer today. He is both dressed & groomed immaculately. He never speaks to anyone under any conditions. He does not even as much as nod his head in
acknowledgment. Everyone knows what he is. What he does. He vanishes for weeks at a time. I remember hearing about him for the first time. Donald announced "He's a straight up Killer". What's interesting is most people don't know his real name. They argue back and forth about it. He is a murderer. A Killer. He commits murder on command. He walks around free. He holds a job in a nice, heated marble building. He performs simple, linear menial tasks. The Killer I walk past every single day. I stare at him. He stares back. I glare at him while I wait for an elevator. He eventually looks at the floor and then walks away. I know what he is. I know what he does. He knows I know. I wonder if he would kill me. If someone told him to, he would. "Just following orders". I know what he is. I know what he does. He knows I know.

check it ya fucks

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/25/arts/music/25ratliff.html?ref=music

do it soon because it probably wont be available tomorrow.
make sure to scroll down to the video article because thats whats important with this.
ron ashoton feeds apples to horses in the park in order to relax,
if you didnt have any reasons to get excted before you definitely will now.

...AND NOW FOR SOMETHING RELEVANT

Soldier gets 100 years for rape, killingBy ROSE FRENCH, Associated Press Writer 1 hour, 45 minutes agoFORT CAMPBELL, Ky. -

A U.S. soldier was sentenced to 100 years in prison Thursday for the gang rape and murder of an Iraqi girl and the killing of her family last year.

Sgt. Paul E. Cortez, 24, also was given a dishonorable discharge. He will be eligible for parole in 10 years under the terms of his plea agreement.Cortez, of Barstow, Calif., pleaded guilty this week to four counts of felony murder, rape and conspiracy to rape in a case considered among the worst atrocities by U.S. military personnel in Iraq.In his plea agreement, he said he conspired with three other soldiers from the Fort Campbell-based 101st Airborne Division to rape 14-year-old Abeer Qassim al-Janabi. The girl, her parents and a younger sister were all killed.Earlier Thursday, tears rolled down Cortez's face as he apologized for the rape and murders. He said he could not explain why he took part.

"I still don't have an answer," Cortez told the judge. "I don't know why. I wish I hadn't. The lives of four innocent people were taken. I want to apologize for all of the pain and suffering I have caused the al-Janabi family."

The military judge hearing the case, Col. Stephen R. Henley, issued a sentence of life in prison without parole, the maximum for the charges. Under military law, the defendant is given the lesser sentence unless he violates terms of the plea agreement, which requires Cortez to testify against others charged in the case.Psychologist Charles Figley testified that Cortez and the other soldiers likely suffered stress brought on by fatigue and trauma."It eats you up," Figley said. "It's a horrible thing. This is not unique. We've seen this in other wars."Five soldiers who served with Cortez in Iraq testified that his actions were out of character and described the hardships of war they experienced, including sleep deprivation and the lack of running water."I just never would have seen it coming," said Staff Sgt. Tim Briggs, who has known Cortez for five years and served with him in Iraq.

Prosecutors said the stress was no excuse for the actions of Cortez and the other soldiers from the 101st Airborne Division, based at Fort Campbell.On Wednesday, Cortez described raping the girl in her family's home in Mahmoudiya last March, along with Spc. James Barker, 24. Barker pleaded guilty in November to rape and murder and was sentenced to 90 years in military prison.Barker has said in a sworn statement that the soldiers drank whiskey and played cards while plotting the assault.

Cortez said this week that former private Steven D. Green raped the girl before he did. Then Green shot her father, mother and sister before shooting the teen in the head, Cortez said.He also testified that the soldiers tried to burn the girl's body. They burned their own clothes and threw the murder weapon, an AK-47, into a canal in an effort to dispose of the evidence.Cortez was found not guilty of more serious charges of premeditated murder and conspiracy to premeditated murder.

Pfcs. Jesse Spielman, 22, and Bryan Howard, 19, await courts-martial. Green, who is accused of being the ringleader but was discharged from the military before being charged, will be prosecuted in a federal court in Kentucky.

OH, THE GUILT

Thanks Kurdt for being an idiot self pitying junkie who fucking killed himself but not before marring the literal asshole of the planet. Way to go, dipshit

"My whole life I try to avoid sports, and here I am in a sporting arena"

Suicide is for assholes
Heroin is for assholes
Being a whiny self obsessed cynical asshole is duh! for assholes

He Says What He Says And What He Says Can Be What We Say If We Say Something Now Worth Hearing

There's simply nothing I can add to this, Im ripping it off verbatim from David Byrne's weblog. Read it. He knows what the fuck he says.

2.7.07: Free Will, Part 2: Support Our Troops
Well, should we? Are individual soldiers responsible for their actions? Or are they merely machine parts? “I was only following orders” is the often heard claim when a soldier who committed a human rights abuse or worse is challenged. It is a way of absolving themselves from responsibility. “I just drove the train, pushed the button, flew the plane because my commanding officer told me to.” If we follow this argument, it would be the higher-ups who are then always responsible, yes? But the higher-ups will always absolve themselves of responsibility for My Lai, Chechnya and Abu Graib. They’ll always say that those incidents were the work of “rogue” soldiers, bad apples — or that there were higher-ups yet higher above them who made the order. Or, in the case of Rumsfeld, restructured things to make abuses easier and more likely to happen — and the attendant destruction of civilians and a country. Ultimately, following that logic that makes about 3 or 4 people ultimately responsible, if the buck continues to get passed on up the chain of command. Of course, those 3 or 4 will blame “faulty intelligence” or try to absolve themselves one way or another, and they usually succeed.
But what about the hundreds of thousands who simply do as they are ordered and whose actions in some cases destroy a nation, a population, and hundreds of thousands or millions of lives as a result? People whose actions have devastating and long-lasting repercussions? Sometimes they do these things unwittingly, but what I am dealing with here is the question of what happens when they do realize what is happening. Have participants no will of their own? Do they deny that they have free will in this case? Those who make sure the bombers are running smoothly but didn’t actually shoot anyone — are they not as guilty as those who pull the triggers? (Anyone see the footage of U.S. soldiers zapping Iraqis for a lark? It’s typical war stuff, it always happens. They act like they’re playing a video game, vaporizing civilians.) Are the guys in the green zone in their air conditioned offices and boozy evenings not as guilty as the grunts who massacre civilians? Don’t they, the officers and bureaucrats, facilitate the dehumanization of the locals, and as a result, the rapid dehumanization of their own soldiers? Those who do as they have been commanded, but abandoned all reason, free will, responsibility and common sense? Do soldiers have no apparent impulse or incentive to think about or question a policy or their own actions? Do none of these folks bear any responsibility for their actions? Will Paul Brenner eventually step forward and say, “Oh, sorry, it was my fault, hang me too — I caused as many deaths as Sadam” —? Would Rummy take the heat? Will the gang who beat the war drums armed with lies and deception — Wolfowitz, Perle, Armstrong, Rice, Powell etc. — admit they hold responsibility for hundreds of thousands of deaths? Would Jeff Sacks admit he helped deliver the Russian people to the gangsters, KGB and oligarchs? Not likely.
I am reminded of the employees of most businesses whose owners are so distant that the employees never think or ask why they are doing something, how the product works, or just as often doesn’t work, why a policy does or doesn’t makes sense, or if a policy might even be counter-productive. Go into almost any store or office cubicle. Alienation, I believe Marx called it, based on his experience in Manchester during the industrial revolution. Most employees as a result of this disconnect simply cover their asses and have no personal investment in making things work better, knowing about the product they sell or how to fix it. It sometimes seems as if war, specifically the soldier, is the model for the alienated worker from his job. The workplace is modeled after the military. This can be a scary efficient machine, when all goes well.
Or, a little voice asks, does each individual soldier have a moral responsibility, and as a human being should he ask of him or herself, “Is my cause just, are the means just, or was I tricked, and if so, should I refuse, or should I lay down my guns and leave?” Do any of the additional 20K troops Bush just ordered (by what right?) into the trenches have any say in the matter? “Am I fighting for what they said I was fighting for?” The reasons for the invasion of Iraq have changed so many times, surely no one believes any of them at this point. Does the foot soldier have a duty to ask, “Is this old man, mother or kid I am about to kill really a terrorist?” Does the ordinary soldier have ANY responsibility to behave morally? If the troops are tired, and if they feel the war is a quagmire in which they are among the unfairly unprotected victims, should they lay down their weapons and walk away? Do they have a moral duty as human beings to do so? Should they be held responsible if they do not act? Is it more patriotic to refuse than to obey? At this point “support our troops” for most Americans means bring them home, quickly and safely.
Cindy Sheehan: "If every peace person just stops one kid from joining the military, that’s one potential American life saved.”
The implication I infer here is that the “kids” she refers to are either being duped or are too stupid to decide or see what’s going on for themselves. Her quote implies, to me, that we have to stop them; alert them, educate them, and deprogram them, because they won’t figure it out for themselves, not until it’s too late. So much for believing in informed citizenry — and, I would argue, so much for democracy as well, because you can’t have the latter without the former.
From the BBC news website:
U.S. war objector pleads not guilty
A U.S. army officer who refused orders to deploy to Iraq has pleaded not guilty to several charges at a court martial.
First Lt Ehren Watada is charged with missing movements and two charges of conduct unbecoming an officer. Lt Watada told the military court at an army base in Washington state that the order to go to Iraq was illegal because the war itself was illegal.
'Illegal and immoral'
The other two charges against Lt Watada stem from statements he has made criticising the war as illegal and immoral. He has said he would have served in Afghanistan, but not Iraq. The military judge, Lt Col John Head, has ruled that Lt Watada can not base his defence on the war's legality. He also ruled that Lt Watada's statements are not protected by the right to free speech under the U.S. constitution. Lt Watada faces up to four years in prison if he is found guilty on all charges.
Talk about disincentive! Why aren’t the church and the temples — the high moral arbiters that they presume to be — jumping up to applaud Watada’s moral stance? What soldier will risk jail and humiliation to speak out? Most just want to serve their time and get out alive.
DS says soldiers’ moral accountability has to be put in the context of their limited options, that economic necessity is a form of coercion. They enlisted, in the case of most U.S. troops, because they had no other economic choice. Their poverty, poor education, and lack of career opportunities back home made those seductive Army ads look pretty enticing and exciting — “Get a college degree! Courtesy of the Army!” Help your country, drive a tank, shoot a missile, and be a respected and honored hero back home! — even if the folks back home doing the honoring and respecting have no idea what nastiness you are now mired in over there. (There are TV ads to join the CIA now too! It’s all good.)
When joining the Army may be the best, or maybe the only, viable life choice, then how can you be held to blame for what you and the Army do? You had no options. Survival is always the prime directive. No other information was available to you at the time. It was either join the Army or deal drugs. What you want a poor boy to do? And besides, how can the foot soldier, the poor grunt, the jarhead, be expected to be up on world politics, history, local culture and language — all the information one might need to weigh the morality of an action? The reporters and news media don’t even do that, so how can the poor soldier be expected to be an informed citizen when the rest of the country isn’t even made of informed citizens. The information to inform them is often so biased, skewed and spun that no intelligent decision can possibly be made. The citizens, here in the U.S. at least, are in a consumer trance most of the time anyway.
The ordinary soldier is trained not to question. To obey without thinking. It sounds like an insult, a criticism, but it’s not. That’s what makes a well-oiled war machine function — you don’t want a discussion when the general commands a forward movement into scary obvious danger. Presumably he knows best and he sees the bigger picture and knows that a reasonable percentage of deaths might be needed to secure a town or accomplish a goal. He has weighed the odds. He may ask you to act against your instincts, against your common sense — and if he is right then he may have saved some lives. It’s for the greater good and he has the big picture. A pause to discuss the matter would be deadly. It would be hilarious as a movie scene — a bunch of dudes having a moral and ethical discussion as the bullets and bombs whiz by. All this assumes our side is the good guys, and the cause is worth fighting for, so the unthinking action is justified in the end. But of course, everyone thinks their cause is just. Maybe right and wrong causes are not the point. Maybe the means, from a moral point of view, is equal to the end. The end does not then justify the means. We have the Geneva conventions for rules defining warfare, as if such a thing is possible. A rulebook for when all hell is breaking loose and people are losing their minds — right.
Circles of Responsibility
If we assume that one does have some responsibility for one’s actions then I ask myself how wide does that responsibility extend? If the American people seem to have grave doubts about the wisdom of committing additional troops to Iraq…and if even the elected president of Iraq, our boy, does not want these troops in his country, then is it not immoral for the American people, and not just W, to send them? Are the people complicit? Are the people not responsible because they have been being willfully misinformed, like DS’s poor uninformed desperate soldiers, and does that then absolve them? Are the hypothetical 3 or 4 guys + Condi Rice truly the only ones responsible? Isn’t that saying that leaders dupe populations and an aggressive nation’s people are as much victims as those they slaughter and abuse?
Let’s assume (big assumption) that the American people suspect that the consequences of these additional troops will not only be additional U.S. casualties, which is obvious and undeniable, but that there will be larger repercussions, which will be tragic, dangerous and long-lasting. Repercussions along the lines of 9/11, but who knows what, when, or where. For example, since the troops are not wanted, even our paid Iraqi friends might turn against the U.S. and join the insurgents. Both Sunni and Shiite will have a common enemy — the U.S. That’s a possibility just for starters.
The question is, at what point do a nation’s people bear some of the responsibility for not stopping illegal unjustified actions? For not even protesting? Does the world hold a generation of Japanese and German citizens “responsible”? Not really, but they sort of do. Ask the Israelis this question about a certain generation of Germans. “Never forget” sort of means “never forgive”. Much of the world is now, if they haven’t already, beginning to hold the American people responsible for the actions of Bush and his crew. Here is a real repercussion — deep distrust and hatred. It can last for generations. For some people in the world, this distrust and hatred will trump the immediate financial incentives the U.S. and the global economy hold out — even easy money, and potential quick profit, which might be gained by cooperating with the Americans, will be seen as undesirable if it means giving up your principles. Shiite philosophy privileges sacrifice if it means adhering to principles over monetary gain.
I would personally love to be more absolutist — to say that every person has a moral obligation to justify his or her own actions. To say that every person has an obligation to dig for the truth and then act accordingly. That every person is responsible for their own actions. All of them. Everyone is accountable. 100%. I would love to take an absolutist stance and say that we all have a duty to know what we are doing. However, I know that absolutism, black and white, good and evil — those hard, clear, simple divisions are how we get into the violent messes in the first place. While everything may not be excused with relativism — surely at some point when babies are being killed (as in Vietnam) “I was following orders” will not hold up as a valid excuse. The divisions, though, are not in fact hard and absolute. Morality and common sense are fuzzy — they’re not forms of binary logic. They do exist, as concepts, and they do guide and inform our behavior, and their levels do seem to rise and fall. But they’re slippery to define. The fever of war sweeps over a people and common sense, morality and reason sink to a frightening low. How do we discourage this fever, this disease, and keep the levels or common sense high and the social body free from infection? Is there such a thing as a psychology of nations, of people? Do nations get neurotic? Crazy? Sad and angry? Bitter and resentful? Proud and arrogant? I think maybe they do.
I suspect that digital thinking, binary logic, the yes/no, pass/fail, good/evil legacy of the enlightenment in some ways fails to match the pragmatic needs of dealing with the real world. Sure, if the digital resolution is high enough, if one has enough variables plugged in and if the computing power of a processor is sufficiently high the result LOOKS like the real world. You can’t see the pixels and it all looks like the multifaceted analog world. But ultimately, breaking the world down into ones and zeros is a form of absolutistism. Doesn’t quantum theory tell us that it’s not in fact an either/or world? That particles are neither here nor there, but can be unsure, or even be in two places at once, or indeterminate?
William Vollmann spent thousands of pages in his multivolume tome The Rising Up and The Rising Down to come up with what he calls “a calculus of violence”. It’s a weird and resonant phrase — I’m sure he made it up for that reason — a phrase that combines and applies the rigor of mathematical logic to passion, death and violence. His aim in that study was to establish guidelines, for himself mainly, that tell when it is morally justified to resort to violence. He asks can we break it down, and are there times when it is indeed justified, maybe even necessary? (I think he says yes.) The book describes various criteria, and if they are met, then violent means are justified as all other means have been exhausted or are not available. It’s hardly a simple Boy Scout manual, though. My abridged copy is 700 pages long, so you can’t easily refer to it on the battlefield or if your spouse pulls a knife on you. And the word calculus is probably very intentional — as I remember it, calculus is system that accommodates multiple variables and values. The curves that calculus generates are movable, they can morph as the variables change. It can accommodate varying contexts and situations; it’s fuzzy, sort of.
So are there no definitive answers to the “support our troops” and the free will questions? Maybe there are not. Ian Buruma, when I saw him talk about the killing of Theo Van Gogh, suggested that context, compassion, common sense and reason can be encouraged and even learnt, and that situations each require their own unique responses. Van Gogh was assassinated for his involvement in a film that offended (Islamic) religious sensibilities. By all accounts he was somewhat insensitive, a provocateur who would have loved to shout out that he has the right to “free speech” and that entitles him to be as offensive as he wants to be. That’s an absolutist point of view — that any racial slur, insult or religious mockery should be allowed, as free speech needs to be absolute. There are, however, limits, says Buruma; limits to tolerance, lines that should not be crossed on both sides — and those limits are justified, given specific circumstances. But he says circumstances are fuzzy, there are no set rules, one has to weigh each situation, each context, use common sense — and what exactly it that? What it isn’t is absolute.
I ask myself who espouses this absolutist black/white view these days? Bin Laden, certainly. Axis of Evil namer and head decider George Bush and Dick Cheney, probably. On and on, right? On every side. Pretty much anyone who is convinced that God is on their side. That covers quite a few. Me, if I think of these folks I’ve just mentioned as absolutely evil, which is pretty easy to do. Does that mean it’s all relative? That there no fixed moral guidelines? If one could but see from their point of view then all ways of thinking might make sense and might even be justified? No, I don’t think so. Not always. I agree that there are limits. There are lines you don’t cross — but they are continually shifting, made of contingencies and the common sense analysis of a situation.
Imagine two dogs meet. The Alpha dog typically demands that the lesser dog back down. Now, imagine that the lesser dog, believing in his rights and the liberty and equality of all canines, refuses to back down. In most cases the Alpha dog will succeed in quickly frightening the lesser dog off from trying to make any inroads, and no harm to either animal results. Maybe a bruised ego for the lesser dog, but that’s all. Some harbored bitterness too, maybe. But suppose the lesser dog, being a principled soul, holds firm to his convictions? (Sometimes that “conviction” is simply equal access to Miss Dog.) Now someone has to get hurt. Pushed to its ultimate conclusion someone has to be incapacitated or killed.
Who was right? Was the lesser dog “right” in sticking to his convictions? What does “right” mean when you are dead? Isn’t “right” actually using common sense — and in this case it might mean backing down? (At least until you’ve got Big Guy outnumbered, outflanked or he’s become too old and your odds of toppling him are decent.) Does Mr. Alpha also have an obligation to back down before it’s too late? I am assuming that, given the usual circumstances, he can’t, or he won’t, unless he determines that he might possibly lose — if he’s outnumbered etc. — in which case he can slink away in shame to an early retirement, leaving lesser dogs to fight it out and determine amongst themselves the new Alpha hierarchy. The rightness, the rules of engagement, change all the time, determined by the situation and circumstances. Experience and common sense teach us how to judge each situation — ideologies and dogmas lead us to behave like deadly idiots. Not everything can be argued to be justifiable, if we can only find the angle from which to view it — there are indeed some wrongs, but maybe they are never hard and fast.

Just Another Queer Jewish Radical

Clips from recent Mirah performances have been popping up all over YouTube. I don't need to say much else, except she's obviously very well rested and in perfect form. Here are links to some of the performances I found last night.

1
2
3
4
5
6 (new song!)
7
8

DO YOU KNOW WHAT?

It's St. Valentine's Day...Valentine's Day is anniversary. An anniversary of what, pray tell? St. Valentine's birthday perhaps? Nope, its the annioversary of hsi beheading!

Also, today is Tim Szostak's birthday.
Happy blessed day of birth.
I won't get mawkish other than to say I know Andy is yr biological, but you are the only brother I'll ever have.

PS--- The saxophone sounds real good. Thanks for the message. Our office was closed yesterday.

Happy Valentine's Day!

JOHN RININGER

[Tonight I made a painful discovery on the web. I was looking for any news of gallery shows of an old friend who I haven't seen since last June. Instead I found a small notice of a memorial service for him because he was apparently found dead this past November. He was 45 years old. ]

John was an individual of trully infinite imagination. He was a print artist known throughout Chicago, New York and Germany primarily for his stamp art which you can view a sampling of on this post. I first came to know him when he hired me as his student-assistant in the document department of DePaul University Library in May of 1999. His last question for me, during my interview, was "How would you find yr way out of a wet paper bag?"

The following fifteen months of 'work' were a series of remarkably inspiring conversations. Here was an individual who worked by day in order to spend all night doing the 'real work'. An artist of the truest sense with pure intention and absolutely NO sense of the term "compromise"--someone about twenty years my senior who lived an exemplary existence. I learned so much from him. Whenever he landed gallery shows around town, John always subtely altered his name in order to maintain a slight sense of anonymity..or at least confusion.

When he found out about my joy in making sound collages--he urged me to play them for him at 'work' and mostly championed the pieces that I claimed were "unfinished". He allowed no room for self-consciousness: either you were working on something or you weren't. There was never any posture never any posing--there was no time for that.

Johns favorite album ever ever ever was Ciccone Youth. Over the time we used to hang out regularily, he asked me to make 'another copy' three times over as he claimed to have "worn another one out in the tape machine". Finally I bought him the CD itself and he was so excited about it--the guy almost cried in happiness.

After I graduated college John and I kept in touch mostly through email as he never had a phone. I helped him move once which was a massive undertaking--but also amazing because I realized then how prolific an artis the was... how busy he kept...

Between then and now he'd been ever-present. I ran into him on buses, in stores, on the sidewalk in the middle of the night in the most random neighborhoods. He too, walking and thinking. Talk was never strained: whether it was a week or a year since we last crossed paths, he'd pick up as if in mid-conversation from last time, carry a few thoughts then move along as if we'd just meet back up at work the next day. There was always a great thing in knowing that such a massive presence was out there, in the city limits, hard at work; working down in the mines as Rich would put it.

I last saw him this summer--walking in the field between my apartment and Kate's. He had the same intensity as always and picked up the conversation as though we'd just seen each other on the DePaul campus the day before. He worshiped nestle crunch bars. I will miss him very much.

Yes Annette Funicello, You May!

a few things...no live albums, no compilations, no bootlegs, and generally only one album per artist. Also, when faced with a tough choice my criteria was how many times I played a record vs. how much I objectively may think the other one is superior. If i hadnt had these rules or changed them aroudn this could easily be a drastically different list. Oh and I also followed the Prindle points system so the most loved album gets 73 points not least loved gets one point etc.

BEATLES The Beatles 73
DOORS Strange Days 72
STOOGES Funhouse 71
JANE'S ADDICTION Ritual De Lo Habitual 70
LENNON, JOHN John Lennon/Plastic Ono Band 69
CUBE, ICE Death Certificate 68
MIRAH Advisory Committee 67
PUBLIC ENEMY Fear Of A Black Planet 66
SLEATER-KINNEY Dig Me Out 65
SONIC YOUTH Sister 64
DAVIS, MILES Get Up With It 63
KINKS Arthur, Or The Decline And Fall Of The British Empire 62
COLEMAN, ORNETTE Dancing In Your Head 61
ONO, YOKO Approximately Infinite Universe 60
FUNKADELIC America Eats Its Young 59
PUBLIC IMAGE LTD. The Flowers Of Romance 58
PRINCE Sign O' The Times 57
FUGAZI In On The Killtaker 56
ROLLING STONES Beggars' Banquet 55
ROXY MUSIC For Your Pleasure 54
SEX PISTOLS Never Mind The Bollocks Here's The Sex Pistols 53
BLACK FLAG My War 52
R.E.M. Fables Of The Reconstruction 51
VELVET UNDERGROUND White Light/White Heat 50
THUNDERS, JOHNNY L.A.M.F. 49
COMETS ON FIRE Field Recordings From The Sun 48
SLEATER-KINNEY The Hot Rock 47
BIKINI KILL Pussy Whipped 46
FUGS The Fugs First Album 45
BYRDS The Notorious Byrd Brothers 44
BARRETT, SYD The Madcap Laughs 43
NICO The Marble Index 42
DEAD KENNEDYS In God We Trust Inc. 41
YOUNG, NEIL Comes A Time 40
REED, LOU The Bells 39
BOREDOMS Vision Creation Newsun 38
ANIMALS Every One Of Us 37
MT EERIE “Singers” 36
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA The United States Of America 35
RED CRAYOLA Parable Of Arable Land 34
HELL, RICHARD Blank Generation 33
GOSSIP That's Not What I Heard 32
GAYE, MARVIN Here, My Dear 31
MASTER MUSICIANS OF JAJOUKA Brian Jones Presents: The Pipes Of Pan At Jajouka 30
LIGHTNING BOLT Wonderul Rainbow 29
X-RAY SPEX Germfree Adolescents 28
SANDERS, PHAROAH Summun, Bukmun, Umyun 27
BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE Thank God For Mental Illness 26
HAVENS, RICHIE Richard P. Havens, 1983 25
MICROPHONES It Was Hot, We Stayed In The Water 24
BUSH, KATE The Hounds Of Love 23
MEAT PUPPETS Meat Puppets II 22
RAINCOATS Odyshape 21
FLIPPER Album- Generic Flipper 20
BEAT HAPPENING Jamboree 19
BAD BRAINS Bad Brains 18
SUN RA Languidity 17
ROLLING STONES Their Satanic Majesties Request 16
BOOGIE DOWN PRODUCTIONS Edutainment 15
VAN HALEN Women And Children First 14
DIGABLE PLANETS Blowout Comb 13
MONKEES Pisces, Aquarius, Capricorn & Jones Ltd. 12
WAKHEVITCH, IGOR Docteur Faust 11
RONDELLES Fiction Romance, Fast Machines 10
HALF JAPANESE Our Solar System 9
LAST POETS Last Poets 8
BROTZMANN, PETER Fuck De Boere 7
HEMMINGS, DAVID David Hemmings Happens 6
SHAGGS Philosophy Of The World 5
MINUTEMEN What Makes A Man Start Fires? 4
PUNKS Thank You For The Alternative Rock 3
FROGS It's Only Right And Natural 2
MERZBOW Rectal Anarchy 1

FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD

Look at the above men. Compare. Do they look defeated? Do they look exhausted? No, of course they don't. Contrary to what EVERYONE will tell you, fire is only extinguished by DEATH. Creativity stops when you DIE. When you are ALIVE you can still BURN and CREATE and CONTRIBUTE and SHINE.

The greatest rock and roll not made by Little Richard was made by The Stooges. You know this. The Stooges recently have made a new album in Chicago. You know this. They posted a new song. It's incredible. You may not know this. FUCK what the doubters say. Critics and cynical defeatists can't create anything. They can't even fuck. FUCK the past. It's not 1970 so there's no point in pretending whether they live or dont live up to a "standard". Who's standards anyway? What's the credibility based on? Where's the contribution? Well, the Stooges have contributed AGAIN. For your life. It's the present, it's real and it is a FUCKING fantastic song. Listen to reality's favorite band.

someone needs to be smacked

so should we stop teaching mark twain in high schools? or how about greek and roman mythology? you have to read what this guy's problem with the cat in the hat, or dr. seuss in general, is. i can't believe the tribune accepted this garbage. or maybe i can.

FALLING DEEP 7 IS HEAVEN

Now for some, 2006 sukt the dix (but not rich) none more so than for william "cuntflowers" bowers, but 2007 goes to 11, after its better. This could only mean Falling Deep 7 is Heaven!
Which also means Falling Deep 7 is here, its queer, its sheer, its King Leer.

without further bono, here is the ultimate impeccable tracklist in a series that redefines the boundaries and is loved like a new puppy throughout America...

FALLING DEEP VOL. 7

Nights In Venice- The Saints
Running Up That Hill- Kate Bush
Samburu- Bomas
I Don't Want Nobody To Give Me Nothing (Open Up The Door I'll Get It Myself)- James Brown
Cake- Fire Party
Sekiapu- Adzido
Digital- Joy Division
Jupiter- John Coltrane
The Tinker And The Crab- Donovan
Konyali Hani Benim Elli Dirhem Pastirmam- Louis Matalon
The Window Cleaner- Charles Coburn
You're A Migraine- Bad Brains
Black Is The Color Of My True Love's Hair- Patty Waters
Swallowtail- The Brian Jonestown Massacre
Piece Of Clay- Marvin Gaye
We Love You- The Rolling Stones
Makan Sedaraban- Udi Marko Melkon Alemsherian

look incredible? of course it does. YOUR copy gets mailed tomorrow morning!

THE MOMENT IS HERE, THE TIME IS NOW!

Hey there my fellow Dogs, Boys & Babies...

Mr. Mark Prindle of markprindle.com

is reaching out to his readers for the annual readers pole! You have to list yr favorite all time top 73 records! See his website for details and requirements! He posts the results in huge unending lists! Do it today!

65

Birthday Wishes for a Very Happy & Blessed 65th Year to the man who unequivocally deserves to be called The Greatest, my hero in life- Muhammad Ali!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

New Math Worksheet-

Please Santa son,

Now that it makes one month minus four days before my birthday, please have sent to me, 10 albums ofMerzbow. Lplease see that I already have 1930&Dharma7 Now that
the death of AliceColtrane plus movment with Doomsday clock and my pleasent birthday-see that dissent is good and find for me 10 Merzbow albums instead of socks. 1930 and
Dharma is already done though
Lif not then make the Merzbow albums 9-3=???7 Don't try hard just find there worth. Who makes a doomsday clock, did someone get sick or ill for that?

The Really Great Thing About Puppy Bowls

Half provide entertainment/Half provide concession yummies

Who wants to have a Puppy Bowl party?!

(i want to watch the Puppy Bowl! i'm not sure if anyone else cares but I sure do!)

Puppy Bowl is an annual three-hour television show on Animal Planet. Shown opposite the Super Bowl, it has the highest ratings of any show shown at that time on cable besides the Super Bowl [citation needed]. It features a number of puppies playing in a model stadium with no audience, minimal commentary and instant replay shots and bowl cam. As of 2006, a half-time show the "Bissell Kitty Half Time Show" is also included featuring a group of kittens taking the field on a large scratching post for 30 minutes. The first Puppy Bowl was shown in 2005.

The puppies featured in Puppy Bowl are from shelters, and the show contains information on how viewers can adopt rescued puppies and help their local shelter. The bowl seems to have an age limit of 3 months, so there have been no recurring players.

Puppy Bowl II Averaged 690,000 viewers for its broadcast (a 23 percent increase over Puppy Bowl I), equivalent to MSNBC's rating for the State of the Union address. 5 million people in total watched Puppy Bowl II throughout its three airings.

Puppy Bowl III is planned to air on Feburary 4, 2007, with the addition of the Tail-Gate Party.

DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO CONTACT THE TATER-TOTS AT "BLOGGER"?

I HAVE FLAGGED OUR SITE SO THAT ONE OF THE IDIOTS MAY CONTACT IT (US, ME) AND FIX III-DOGBOYBABY SO THAT NO ONE (ME) IS BANNED FROM ADDING COMMENTS (SINCE THEY PROVIDE NO CONTACT INFO ON BLOGGER ITSELF).

Will this work???

I wonder hmmmm...

A Record Sleeve by Phil Elverum

It is dawn. You are just waking up, thinking about putting breakfast together. Each little movement of you going into the day, coming back to life, being born, falls into place as you slowly, deliberately get out of bed and stand up. Leaving your room, you notice the air. Looking at your body, you remember your parents who fed you. Looking around, you realize you already have everything you need; this place is so wealthy. Flexing your leg, you notice no place can hold you, so you can stop running from perceived confines. Being "free," you are born with responsibility. Your parents will not take care of you forever. There is no God. You will not be punished. Deal with yourself. Recognizing problems in the world around you, hold yourself upright and do everything well. Can't you see the equation? The ritual of waking up each day will remind you. The sun rising relentlessly will fill you with reasons to live, prying your eyes open. Don't Smoke. Why would you? Get Off The Internet. There is work to do and the hurricane of your good life is passing by right now just outside the door.

LIKE PIGX IN SHITZ NOT SUCKIN DIX ON POST 76

Preamble:

Yes not suck dix on 76 or 76 dix or pigxz in sitz, but no--- 2006 sucked dix for william "cunflowers" bowers and he did the brave thig and wrote about it on the MOTHERFUKKIN FORK. then he went mad and made it better

SO...
FOR ONE WILLIAM BOWERS 2006 SUCKED THE DIX BUT 2007 WILL BE HEAVEN AFTER IT WAS BETTER
AND OPPORTUNITY KNOCKED!

AND NOW OUR PROGRAMME:

Column(IF WERE BEING TEHCNICAL): Puritan Blister OUCH IT HURTS#666
To Hell, With PovertyAND UP WITH CORPORATE RESPONSIBILITY!:
A Worrier's (READ:ASSHOLE INDIE DUECHE)
2006---SUCKIN MOTHERFUCKIN DIX!
"Column" by William "CUNTFLOWERS" Bowers

Let's say you had a rough year last year. BOOHFUCKHOO IM AN INDIE DUECHE WITHOUT A SINGLE IDE AIN MY HEADYourEVERY YEAR FOR ME IS ROUGH IM SUCH A DELICATE INTELLECTUAL FAWN trouble seemed to start with that Hold Steady concert at which you couldn't hear the vocals. The club owner's husband explained that the sound was jiggered so that the vox were clear in the back, or at the bar-- but you were committed to some up-front, fanpersonI GO SEE SHIT LIEK THE HOLD STEADY fistpumping. Your previous patronage of Hold Steady shows elsewhere had given you the right to expect a cathartic, if a trifle forced, fellow-feeling. Like, bordering on a jamboree? InsteGOD IM SUCH AN ASSHOLEad you got Craig Finn, looking like an insane, almost-foaming mime. The band's chug seemed dumbish without his Wandering Scene-vet barkabyes. For some reason, you felt as if someone (everyone?) was getting a treat and being swindled at the same time.

You found Beck's 2006 album more interesting than Bonnie "Prince" Billy's.WHOA NO WAY HOLY CRAP BECK IS A NEVER WAS AND "THE PRINCE" (FINALLY A WHITE ONE) IS A CHILD MOLESTOR! DRINK PISS! PRINK DISS! WALKING TALL! TALKING WALL! WHY DO I TALK AT ALL

Your car pretty much blew up on the way to see the Walkmen. A friend called the cellphone you borGOD EVERYTHING IS SUCH A FUCKING TRAGEDYrowed for the trip. Your friend was hoping to reach the phone's actual owner. Your friend said "Hey! I'm with the Walkmen!" and handed the Walkmen his phone. You told the WalkmI CANT IMAGINE WHY I CARRY ONen that you are not who your friend thought you were, and that your car just pretty much blew up on the way to their show. The Walkmen said that they are sorry about your car. THEYRE SORRY ABOTU EVERYTHING ELSE 2, IF I WERENT SUCH A PUSSY I COULD AT LEAST COMMIT SUICIDEEntertainment Weekly called the films of Christopher Guest "cultural correctives." So society got improved. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING READING EW IN THE FIRST PLACE, IM SUPPOSED TO BE INDIE AND CHRIST NOW IM WATCHING THE DIY NETWORK AND THERES NO SHOWS ABOUT THE CLASH JUST SHOWS ABOUT INSTALLIGN A NEW DECK....WAIT ITS KINDA THE SANME THINS........WHOA NO MICK JONES WAS JUST LIKE THE PLANKS OF WOOD AND STRUMMER IS TOTALLY THE WATER SEAL, GET IT? WOW, MY FRUIENDS AND I GET HIGH CUZ WERE CONVINCEDWE HAVE TO AND EVERYONE THOUGHT WE DID ANYWAY SO I MEAN, FUCK, WHY NOT, MORE ON THIS LATER, OH SHITY!

You developed an unhealthy sympathy for underdogs. CUZ IM AN UNDERDOG. IM SO WOUNDED AND SENSITIVE!You started to confuse "darn good" albums with "great" ones, preferring an alternate view to the consensus view just because of its alternateness. You became addicted to blogs such as Little Hits that tout "forgotten" or noncanonical bands. You kept and abused a "Little HitWHEN WILL PEOPLE LEARN THAT THEIR OPINIONS MEAN NOTHING AND PEOPLE SHOULDNT EVEN TRY s" playlist. This practice is akin to only reading minor poets. Your favorite albums of the yearIF I WERENT SUCH A PUSSY ID KILL MYSELF were by the ArI MIDLY DISLIKE SOME ASPECT OF MY PERSONALITY AND I WANT TO WHINE ABOUT ITchie Bronson Outfit, the Coup, Keene Bros, and SnowdenWAIT I THOUGHT IM SPOSED TO BE INTO POINTLESS MARGINALIA OH FUCK IM SO CONFUSED BY MY OWN UNENFORCED RULES. These albums were really good, but they were probably not the best albums of the year. THEY PROBABLY WERENT THE BEST. WOW SUCH INCISIVE MUSICAL CRIT FLOWS FROM MY BRAIN. PROBABLY WERRENT THE BEST JUST LIKE THAT OL DEEP BLUE SHITTY SOMHTHING LYRICS WHERE THEY SING "OH YES I RECALL WE BOTH KIND OF LIKED IT". OH NO I HOPE IM NOT AS BORING AS THEM! YOU CANT EVEN BE IRONICAL ABOUT THEM!

Indistinct WHAT ISNT INDISTINCT IN MY WORLDblogs multiplied like gremlins, and also like gremlins, some got dumber and sassier LIKE MY COLUMNS OOOH HA HA. Their effect on old-new media was obvious WHAT ISNT OBVIOUS: Even websites that host longform criticism began to introduce mp3 links with a mere "thumbs up"! OH THATS SO LAME AND SUCH A SYMBOL OF UMM SOMETHING BUT I CANT FIGURE OUT WHAT NOW....I COULD TOTALLY NEVER BE THAT LAME...I BUY CLOTHES OF KARMALOOP I BUY CLOTHES OF KARMALOOP I BUY CLOTHES OF KARMALOOP AND MY MEANDERINGS ON THE INTERNET ARE FAR MORE ESSENTIAL TO THE WORLD OF CRITCIISM (CUZ I CANT CREATE ANYTHING) CUZ I WORK FOR PITCHFORK, YEA THATS RIGHT WE ADVERTISE DEWARS WERE BIG TIME BUT OH WERE SMALL TIME CUZ WERE INDIE AND FOR THE PEOPLE BUT OH GOD DAMMIT I HATEW TO THINK, LOOK I'LL LEVEL WITH YOU IM JUST SOME 26 YR OLD GRAD STUDENT SO I JUST ASSUME I KNOW EVERYTHING CUZ I OF COURSE DO KNOW EVERYTHING AND IM SUCH A MIDDLE CLASS ASS PUSSY I DOTN HAVE THE BALLS TO OFF MYSELF SO I JUST PROJECT MY PRISSY PISSY DUECHY AS FUCK NONSENSE ONTO EVERYONE IN CYBERSPACE THIS IS MY ENTIRE CONTRIBUTION TO HUMANITY IM PSYCHOLOOGICALLY & SPIRITUALLY RETARDED I CANT SEE BEYOND MY OWN MIND (WHY WOULD I ITS SO FASCINATING) I DONT EVEN REALIZE A WAR IS GOING ON, AND ON TOP OF EVERYTHING ELSE MY SOCKS ARE TOO LOOSE

You live and work in a town designed to sustain car-culture, OH ITS SO SAD WHY CANT LIFE BE LIKE THOSE COOL VW COMMERCIALS THEY SHOW ON IFCbut your car pretty much blew up during that Walkmen trip. So you biked everywhere. You are used to traveling with music. Wearing headphones on a bicycle is illegal/ticketable where you live. You began toCUZ MUSIC IS A COMPETITIVE CONTEST OF CONSTANT ONE-UPS-MANSHIP DONT EVER FORGET THAT "get behind," since you can't listen to new music. So much new music and "music news" ONLY NEW THINGS COUNTerupts each day that you began to feel like you've skipped a week of Calculus class when yoTHANK GOD ALL MY FRIENDS ARE EVEN MROE JUDGEMENTAL AND LESS CONNECTED TO REALITY THAN MEu triedMY PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS EXIST UNDER THE THINNEST PRETENSES to discuss new music or music news with the other consumers/students.

You read Adbusters,CUZ IM LIBERAL OR HAVENT YOU GUESSED with biblical EVEN THOUGH THE BIBLE IS BAD OR SOMETHING, I LISTENED TO A HARDCORE RECORD ONCE AND THEY WERE MAD ABOUT IT, BUT THEN IT WAS STRAIGHT BACK TO MODEST MOUSE AND PROPER POETICS BUT I'LL NEVER FORGET MY SALAD DAYS (PUNK REFERENCE OF SOME KIND) SLUMMING WITH THE SCREAMING PEOPLE IN BLACK LEATHERfervor, and were supposedly immune to the seductionYES BUT IDEALS HAVE FAILED US JUST LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE, WHERES MY TODD SOLANDZ DVDs of packaging and the reification of people as products. You fell in love with someone on NOW I WORK FOR PITCHFORK AND WE LOVE CORPORATIONS, THANK GOD, IT MAKES THINGS EASIER. MAKE NO MISTAKE THOUGH WERE AT LEAST SNARKY ABOUT ITa Jones Soda bottle label.

You went to see Xiu Xiu in a disguise, CUZ I HAVE SO FUCKING MUCH TO BE ASHAMED OF because you didn't want any acquaintances or ex-partners to ruin your deep and communal something-or-other with Xiu Xiu's music. CUZ ITS ALL ABOUT MUSIC AND NOT SOME QUEST TO DEFEND ALL MY OWN BULLSHITYour acquaintances and exes end up all around you, only they don't recognize you, which isYES YOU KNOW I HAVE TONS OF EXES ALL THOSE ONRE WEEK RELATIONSHIPS REALLY ADD UP more distracting than if they did. Xiu Xiu played a jaded IM USING JADED AS A CRITICIAM? BUT IM JADED WAIT ITS NOT COOL TO BE JADED SINCE THE AEROSMITH SONG AND SICNE THE 70S ARENT "IN" RIGHT NOW ITS ALL A MESS, workmanlike show that, they later tell one of your sozzled exes, they considered "too pop." I FUCKED HALF OF BUSTS READERSHIP. GIRLS LIKE CUZ THEY SAY I REMIND THEM OF JOHN CUSACK!You wish you hadn't demanded emotional labor from Xiu Xiu. They are artists in the year 2006, not Delta stewardesses in 1971,TOO TRUE TOO TRUE I SPEAK THE REAL SHIT from whom one might have purchased a flimsy intimacy LIKE ALL THE HANDJOBS I ACT LIKE IVE GOTTEN. A girl approached you and told you that she liked your outfit. You were wearing a granny wig, a hairnet, a black mustache, a Three's Company blouse, baby blue polyester highwater trousers, and orange trailbiking shoes. The girl asked if you want to manage her band, the Vagina RoachesTHIS IS MY ATTEMPT AT HUMOR, IF WE WERE IN PERSON ID SLOWLY LAUGH REAL HIGH PITCHED AND KEEP RIHT ON LAUGHING WHILE STARING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES UNBLINKLY TO SEE IF YOU THINK IM AS FUNNY AS I THINK I AM...DO YOU REALIZE (MY MAN WYANE REFERENCE) I AM SO HOPELESS I CANNOT EVEN LAUGH SINCERELY???

Mr. Lif's WHITE HIP HOP THE WAY GOD WANTED IT, OH BUT IM AN ATHIEST wrankled IM AN ATHIEST CUZ NOTHING MATTERS, AND BELIEVING IN THINGS IS STUPID AND SICNE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS CONSTANT COMPETITION (AND IM TOO MUCH OPF A PUSSY TO JUST GET ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD) I OUTSMART EVERYONE BY DENYING EVERYTHING FIRST. AND THEN RIPPING ON THEM IN MY SNIVELLING DUECHE WAYprogressiveness HE DOESNT HATE GUY GUYS WHICH IS GREAT CUZ BLACKS WONT CONFORM TO THAT ELEMENT OF OUR LIBERALOSITY (WE COULD SAVE THE WORLD WITH IT IF WE COULD ONLY SAVEOUR OWN TRAGIC FLAWED MISUNDERSTOOD LIVES FIRST) AND MAKES MY QUITE UNCOMFORTABLE, BUT ITS NOT LIKE I ACTUALLY HJANG OTU WITH GAY GUYS I DONT EVEN KNOW ANY GAY GUYS, EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE GUY AT PARTIES SOME TIMES. ALL MY FREIDNS ARE JUST LIKE...WHITE MIDDLE CLASS STRAIGHT AND SNARKY AND IRONICAL AND SENSITIVE AND DAMAGED AND MISUNDERSTOOD. ITS ALMOST AS IF THERES NO WORLD OUTSIDE OF US! OH AND THERES GIRLS TOO. THEYRE COOL UNLESS YOU DATE THEM.yielded to a reggaetonTHESE SMEXICANS MOVES NEAR MY APARTMENT. THEYRE LOUD.-liteAS OPPOSED TO HARDCORE REAGGAETON OF COURSE....COVERED BY PITCHFORK IN THE HISOTIRCAL AND TREMENDOUSLY IMPORTANT THIS MONTH IN REGGAETON COLUMN track about how women need to clean their crotches for him. YEAH, TAKE THATHe did shows with Matisyahu. OOOH SUCH A BAD BURN. OOOH MY MIND IS INCREDIBLE WITHOUT FAULT OR FLAW OR EVEN A FOLD! DID I MENTION HOW BRAVE PITCHFORK IS FOR SAYING HOW BRAVE MALACHI IS/WAS? WE'RE BRAVE, HE'S BRAVE. KILLING YOURSELF IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY OR DIFFERING OPINION IS BRAVE. GOD, IM SUCH A PUSSY...I SHOULD SET MYSELF ON FIRE. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT SHIITE MEANS

You went to see Mount Eerie, expecting the sound experience that is Mount Eerie. EVEN THOUGH MT EERIES RELEASES ARE MOSTLY QUIET AND ALL THOSE MP3S I LOVE SO MUCH (WHEN PEOPLE DEBATED CDS VS VINYL I ALWAYS SAID HEY FUCK YOU I ONLY WANT RECORDED MUSIC TO COME THROUGH A THIN CORD ON MY COMPUTER) FEATREU PHIL LVIE + GUITAR IM STILL A WORTHLESS ASSHOLE WHO THINKS LIVE SHOWS SHOULD BE REPRODUCTIONS OF ALBUMSYou got Phil Elvrum with a guitar, unable to remember YES HE DID NOT PLAY 18 SONGS IN A ROWhis own songs after HE WAS NTO AMAZINGopening up the floor to HES BEEN DOWNHIOLL SINCE 2001the crowd because PITCHFORK SAID HE MAKES CYNICAL MUSIC NOW AND I GUESS SICNE THEY ARE MY THOUGHT MASTERS I MUST FOLLOWhe didn't prepare a set. YES THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED AS IT HAPPENED AND IM SO OFFENDED WE STOPPED REVIEWING THIS HAS BEENThe crowd guffawed explosivelyCUZ THEYRE SHEEP UNLIKE NONCONFORMIST ME at the non-punchlines in his smalltalk between non-songs; they would never behave so sycophantically to a local non-star. NEVER. You began to think that the laugh-tracks on "The Suite Life of Zack & Cody" and "Saved By the Bell" were recordings of nervous, crowd-scanning indie kids. WHICH I AM NOT ONE OF, SEE IM ABOVE IT ALL. I SEE THE LIES FOR WHAT THEY AREYou I AM CLEVER PERSONIFIEDrequested a Little Wings tune that Elvrum copped bits of YES PHIL RIPS KYLE OFF SO MUCH, KYLE MUST HATE HIMfor a song on his Mount Eerie album. PHIL IS NO SUFJANElvrum tried to play it, couldn't, and then said, "Wrong band." PHIL IS NO IRON AND WINEYou spent the rest of the night pettily concocting weak, rhythmless OH AND HERES WHERE I TURN THE KNIFE BACK ON PUSSY LITTLE MEretorts such as "DO YOU LIKE THAT I NEVER TALK ABOUT MUSIC, ONLY MYSELFOh, IM SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING THAN PEOPLE WHO ARE CREATIVEyou're a band?" and "Wrong band? That's what I'm saying about who I chose to come see." This was the fifth time that you paid to access a great band performance and got one (albeit talented) I'LL ALLOW PHIL THAT HEMAY BE TALENTED BUT HE SHOULD JUST PLAY BALL AND DO AN m&mS COMMCERCIAL OR SOMETHING.dudePHIL IS A DUDE AND NOTHING BUT with an acoustic guitar. Did your town not matter, you thought? YES CUZ PHIL BRINGS A FULL BAND EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME, I CANT BELIEVE A SUPER FAN LIKE ME IS SO 100% UNFAMILIAR WITH HIS WORK AND METHODS, PERHAPS IM NOT AS SMART AS I THOUGTH? NO COULD NEVER BE. I UNDERSTAND PHILS MUSIC AND MOTIVATIONS BETTER THAN PHIL HIMSELF COULD, IM A FUCKIN GRAD STUDENTDid it not contain real people living real lives and needing real music? REAL MUSIC DOESNT EVEN EXIST ACCORDING TO ME SO WHAT AM I SAYING. WHY CANT I JUST DIEWas indie rock the only zone in which people would tolerate this slummy YES ABSOLUTELY NO ONE IN THE MAINSTREAM TOLERATES "SHIT" AND WHEN I SAY SHIT SHIT IS SO PHIL ELVRUM shit? Could Les Mis tour with five people wearing Dockers, accompanied by a jambox, and still call the show Les Mis? YES CUZ BROADWAY AND ROCK AND ROLL ARE TOTALLY INTERCHANGABLE, THIS COMPARISON MAKES ABSOLUTE SENSEYou thought of the passage from Curtis White's SEE A NOVEL A I READ SOMETHING IN GRAD SCHOOL PIN A AN IRONICAL BUTTON MEnovel Memories of My Father Watching TV, YEAH SOME GUY WROTE THIS BOOK, PRETTY EMBARRASSING, RIGHT?about what his family wouMY DAD DIDNT LOVE ME EITHER, THOUGH HE HELPS WITH THE RENTld settle for: "They'd eat the most unbelievable junk…the cheapest margarine you can imagine...it came in gallon tubs…the manufacturer didn't even have the decency to dye it yellow. It wasn't something to eat; it was a expression of contempt." For some reason, you felt as if someone (everyone?) ALL OF US AS ONE BIG CANCEROUS LUMPwas getting a treat and being swindled at the same time. YES PAYING 5 BUCKS FOR A SHOW IS A SWINDLE. 10 FOR A RECORD WITH CD INCLUDED IS THE BIGGEST RIP OFF THIS SIDE OF WELL SOMETHING I CANT THINK RIGHT CUZ IM SO MISUNDERSTOOD

You find coke-rap THEY CAN MAKE GENRES OUT OF ANYTHING NOWand crack-hopYES ANYTHING winningly hilarious NIGGERS ARE FUNNY AFTER ALL...I LOVE THE UPNin its gaudiest incarnations (Rick Ross) and flat-out amazing at the hands ofI LVOE RAP MUSIC TO PROVE MY LOVE OF AFRICAN AMERCIANS EVEN THOUGH I DONT KNOW ANY AND AM SCARED OF THEM ON EVERY LEVEL its most talented artisans (Clipse), but you wouldn't let yourself enjoy CUZ I CANT ENJOY ANYTHING CUZ ITS ALL SO TRAGICit, because of some leftover straight-edge IDEALS FAILED US punk BELIEVING IN SOMETHING IS STUPIDrock baggage PUNK IS ALL CLICHES, FORTUNATELY IM TOO CLEVER TO BE A CLICHEyou insist on totingWHY DID I EVER BELIEVE IN ANYTHING? into your thirties, and not just because you've watched multiple friends spiral into private shame about theirWAIT FOR MY AMAZING TERM, HERE IT IS, IM SUCH A GREAT WRITER.... booger-sugar habits. YES DRUGADDICTION IS SOMETHING ELSE TO SHRUG OFF AND BE IRONICAL ABOUTSomething consumerist about dealer-flow obtains in a way that bugs your residual principles.BUT I DONT HAVE ANY, THEY FAILEDUS, AND CORPORATIONS ARE DOING BETTER THAN EVER If hip-hop was once, as CHECK OUT HTIS OBSCURE QUOTE I FOUND, NO ONE HAS EVER USED IT BEFORE Chuck D said, the "black CNN", now it's like PBS' "Nightly Business Report" for baseheads and their brokers.ZING GOD I LOVE MY MIND, I WISH MY DICK WORKED IN KIND You don't know what happened to the days of Grandmaster Flash's "White Lines (Don't Do It)", I DONT KNOW ANYTINGor even Kilo's cautionary yet misogynist track about that skanless white girl named "Cocaine".NIGGERS ARE CLEVER AFTER ALL, I LOVE THAT SLAM DUNK CONTEST To make matters worse, you've been known to stockpile straws for sampling the occasional baggieI DO COCAINE? I TOTALLY DO CUZ SOMEONE SOMEWHERE SAID IT WAS IN VOUGE IF I HAD BEEN OLD ENOUGH ID HAVE BEEN SLAMMING SMACK NEEDLES IN 94, OR MAYBE NOT JUST SMOKIN DOPE AND WISHING IT WAS SMACK CUZ IM A PUSSY AND COKE IS THE ULTIMATE PUSSY DRUG AND I DONT HAVE THE BIG BALLBAGS REQUIRED FOR CRACK, PLUS YOU HAVE TO GO TO THE HOOD FOR CRACK AND I MAY SYMPATHIZE WITH THE POOR NEGROES BUT I AINT GOIN NEAR THEM. So you're like the closeted evangelist Ted Haggard hating on gaysCHRIST INDIE KIDS DOING COKE IS LITERALLY THE MOST PATHETIC THING EVER, but with aIF THERE WERE EVER PEOPLE WHO SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS SHIT ITS PEOPLE LIKE US WE ARE GROSTEQUE ABOMINATIONS TO BEGIN WITH. race cartridge. TWATS ON TWATS

Your Sony laptop died ALONG WITH ALL HOPEon a down comforter while you were iTunes "deejayinI LVOE ITUNES WHERE WOULD I BE WITHOUT SHITTY SOUNDING NON MUSICg" a Guided By Voices YES YOU KNEW YOU FUCKING KNEW ID BE OBSESSED WITH GBV, THEY ARE OXYGEN TO FUCKING USELESS SHITSTAINS LIKE MEmarathon at a pool party. Apparently your lightweight machineMY BRIANS? NO SILLY THE IPOD needed to breathe, THATS WHTAT MY LAST GIRLFRIEND TOLD ME TOO, GIRLS ARE JUST LIEK IPODS, GOD IM SUCH A GREAT WRITERand it melted so thoroughly that the hard drive couldn't be retrieved from its useless shell that you're indebted to Best Buy BUT AT LEAST THEYRE A GOOD CORPORATION!for. You'd planned to pay off that debt via the manuscript "saved" on the dead laptop. You swear off allegiance to Sony, iTunes, Best Buy, and GBV.BUT THAT WOULD REQUIRE SOME FORM OF COMMITMENT OR CONSCIOUS THOUGHT, AND SINCE IM SO APATHETIC AND HATEFUL OF ANYTHING AND EVERYONE BCAK TO THE CORPORATE DIARREAH GARDEN The next day, you listen to the new Robert Pollard project on Sony headphones after downloading iTunes onto the clunky placeholding PC that a sympathetic friend with credit charged at Best Buy. OH IRNOY WHERE WOULD I BE WITH IRONIOCALNESS THANK GOD IM SO CLEVER AND BORED AND EVERYTHING IS DUMB AND POINTLESS

Shows kept sucking: WHAT DOESNT SUCK, EXCEPT FOR MY WRITING AND MY MASTERBATION -ATHONS Somebody booked Mates of (Iraqi expletive) State to headline during the Destroyer/Magnolia Electric Company co-headlining tour. A sideman from one of the snubbed bands ended up mooning the Mates, momentary disrupting the flow of their Sanrio MY LAST G/F LIKED SANRIO SO IM TOTALLY BITTER AT HER SHE ALSO LIKED QUASI SO IM GONNA GIVE THE JICKS A BAD REVIEW NEXT TIME ITS ALL JANET AND HER FEMINIST SHIT, I HATE HATE THAT LIKE FEMALE ROCKER SHIT, ITS SO DONE I MEAN WOMEN WERE ANGRY IN 1992syrup. You figured it was someone from Magnolia, since moons figure so prominently into Molina's lyrics. Months later, the Mountain Goats were heckled by man-dudes yelling "rip" and "shred" OH MORE IRONY ANMD PAIN AND INAPPROPRIATENESand "pussy," drowning out Peter Hughes and John Darnielle as they deliberated their way thrTHITNLRKTJBNWRL;TKBN;BLJRNT;BLNRT;BLWRKNTBLTYBNERL;YNKBER;YOIBNEYOINEYONJEYough much of Get Lonely's pregger-tempoed monologues.

BIG FINISH:
You started listening WELL THROUGH MY IPOD AND COMPUTER SPEAKERS WHILE DOING 20 OTHER THINGS CUZ WHY REALLY CONCENTRATE CUZ IT DOESNT MATTERto the Minutemen a lot, even though you find them cheesily sincereTHIS SPEAKS FOR ITSELF, HUH, because being poor was at least part of their music. AND THATS ALL THAT MATTEREDMost

YOU KNOW I FIND POOR PEOPLE TO BE MROE SINCERE.

IM POOR UNTIL I GET MORE MONEY FROM MY PARENTS WHO I HATE AND WHO MISUNDERSTAND ME AND TREAT LIKE VERMIN EVEN THOUGH THEYVE TOLERATED MY UNENDING TEENAGE EMOTIONALLY STUNTED BULLSHIT SINCE CLINTON GOT ELECTED

AND SICNE IM POOR I CAN TOTALLY RELATE TO PEOPLE WHO STRUGGLE.
I STRUGGLE EVERY DAY IN EVERY WAY, I UNDERSTND YOU, YOU POVERTY STRICKEN PEOPLE AND TO SHOW HOW MUCH I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU ILL BE CONDESCENDING AND TREAT YOU LIKE YOURE FUCKING RETARDED, EMUALTE THE DUMBEST MOST OBVIOUS ASPECTS OF YOUR CULTURE AND LAUGH AT YOU IF YOU WANT ANY FORM OF ACTUAL HUMAN RESPECT. IM IN SUCH PAIN AND SO MISUNDERSTOOD I NEED YOUR LOW DOLLAR AMUSEMENT. I GOT POOR BUYING MP3S AND REALLY KILLER BUD, SO YOU CAN UNDERSTAND MY PLIGHT, CORRECT?
of the 2006 music world struck you as being "about" affluence, POOR=REALor at least an uncurious ease. IM NOT CURIOUS, THATS STUPIDThanks to the joys YES IT IS A JOY, A JOY TO NOT HAVE TO LISTEN TO MUSIC THAT SOUNDS GOOD AND TO ONLY LISTEN TO ONE GENRE AT A TIME AND REDUCE ALL MUSIC AND CREATIN TO STYLES MOVEMENTS AND CLIQUES USUSALLY ABSED OFF OF ONE REPRESENTATIVE SONG FROM EACH PERSON CUZ IM SO DIVERSE AND KNOW IT ALL THAT I ONLY NEED ONE SONG FROM EVERYBODY RANGING FROM THE ROLLING STONES TO STOCKHAUSENof downloading and to music's role as "what else one does while computing," indie bars and indie-culture's kinda-requisite ornamentation IM SINKING HELP MEhave metastasized METASIZED GOD IM GOOD YES GOOD TO GREAT to survive without indie's original retail hosFUCK RECORD STORESt: record shops. Hipster HIPSTERS ARE BAD AND I IN NO WAY ASPIRE TO BE ONEboutiques and expensive vintage stores-- and IM TOO CLEVER AND ABOVE IT ALLfaux-vintage stores-- haCORPORATIONS ARE GETTIN EBTTER WE DONT NEED NO RECORD STORESve coLETS PUT IT ALL IN THE COMANIOES HANDSntREMEMBER THAT IDIOT IN GHST WORLD, HE WAS RIGHT, AND I AM RIGHTributed in many cities to the kind of neighborhood upscaling that prices out record stores, affordable restaurants, and low rent.LOW RENT IS COOL CUZ YOUR PARENTS DONT BITCH AS YOU AS MUCH WHEN YUO QUIT YOUR JOB TO GO BACK TO GRAD SCHOOLAnd where is the music about being poor? UMM I GUESS BEING MADE BY THOSE COKE SELLING NIGGERS??????? THEY ARE RESOURCEFUL AFTER ALL, SLAVERY MUST HAVE BEEN HARD BUT NOT AS HARD AS HOW MUCH I HATE MYSELFYou know that the 90s version of the poor aesthetic EVERYTHING IS AN AESTHETIC NO ONE DOES THINGS TO EXPRESS THEMSELVES OR BE CREATIVEdenied either the feminine WHAT AM I SAYIGN HERE(see Mudhoney) or humor HAHAHA(see Uncle Tupelo), but poverty itself is a planetary human subject going weirdAMEN TO MYSELF AND THE UNSUNG IS WHAT I CHAMPIONly unsung. AND HERES WHERE ALL THE TALK ABOTU KILLING MYSELF ENDS UP...You've said it before, but you trust that some new Kurt Cobain is rising somewhere, sporting CUZ YES A NEW KURT WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING...HE SOVLED EVERYTHING ONCE BEFORE NEITHER PEARL JAM NOR ACE OF BASE OUTSOLD NIRVANAhand-me-down thermal underwear, and he (or she) BUT MORE LIKELY HEwill reveal 2006's escapist party music about acquisitiveness as bloated, unpunk idolatrAND THEN HE'LL KILL HIMSELF AND WE CAN MOAN AGAIN ANEW ABOUT HOW USELESS EVERYTHING IS AND HOW ITS ALL BEEN DONE BEFOREy. And I hope that the new Cobain is an electronic artistCUZ ROCK MUSIC IS ALL USED UP ITS ALL BEEN DONE BEFORE I WISH I COULD DIE, because even the most brilliant dance music only offers a fantasy of grace that barely obtains or applies in the day, or during most jobs. AND I COF COURSE KNOW EVERYTHIGN ABOUT EVETRYTHINGAnd I can't wait to hear, like, Uffie OOOH I KNOW WHO THEY ARE AND I BET YOU DONTjump on the new Cobain's bandwagon. YES BANDWAGON JUMPING IS ALWAYS ALWAYS THE WAY TO CREATE GREAT THINGS...OBVIOUSLY....THERE COULD BE NO OTHER WAYEveryone will be getting a treat and being swindled at the THANK GOD...BUYING MP3Ssame OOH THE WAY IT SHOULD BEtimeMY DICK HURTS.SO DOES MY ASS ----MAYBE MY BUDS SHOULD BE BLOWING COKE UP MY TIGHT HOLE AFTER XUI XUI XHOWS
WOW NOW THAT THATS OVER I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO ROAM MYSAPCE AND YOU TUBE SO I CAN COMPLAIN ABNOUT THAT NEXT MONTH...


TILL NEXT TIME
JUST REMEMBER
FROM INDIE SHOWERS
BLOOM CUNTFLOWERS !



(BOW, FADE)

APPLESAUCE

I'LL NEVER GET OUT OF THIS WORLD ALIVE

That fucking field holler makes me happier than a pig in shit.

Sorry D I fucked up something and accidentally deleted yr post. Feel free to reinstall your post about school shootings

.

Mr. Precious

Happy New Yar

To all of you people who speak English like me
And all you other people, will someone translate please?
You can do whatever you want and fuck what anybody says
I would like to encourage you with this question
And I sing it with all of the love and trust in my heart
So you don't have to answer it now or ever at all
But it goes: Did you do what you wanted to, or what you didn't want to?
Cos that's all that matters at the end of the day
So look deep in your heart each night for the answer
And if it's not the right one, then why don't you change?
You can say it's subjective, and it certainly is
But did you look deep in your heart to see it like I said?
And did you do what you wanted to, or what you didn't want to?
That's all that matters at the end of the day

--Adrian Orange

HEY YAY HAPPY DAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now It's All Even

Everything going to back to normal now?

It all makes perfect sense, right?

The tables have been all evened up!

Everything is solved!

It's all totally justified!

We are in no way murderers contributing to the evil of the world!

We got our man!

Eye for a tower, eye for a tower!

USA!USA!USA!
USA! USA!USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!
USA!USA! USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA!
USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA! USA!USA!
USA!USA!USA!USA!USA!

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh the SEXY Post!

Oh yes

the 69th post

is it hot in here or is it just you

(and me together)

oooh

generating HEAT

Uhhh

this is the sexy post

you can move this below yours, hon...

... just wanted to share the most darling picture of the holiday season!



aren't they just the cutest?! annie has the red antlers and gracie has the black. annie is my baby girl. world's sweetest dogs.

You Think You Know Me...

Go on, try it...

http://www.testriffic.com/friendtest/1340896

Call me Mr. Bigpants Cock Walk from now on

Not to be insensitive because its quite remarkable but I must share with you a message from a card that kate received from one of her student's parents:

Dear Miss Cunningham
It will meet the good teacher
and from U Thank You.
everyday you it does a hazard
benediction. It will be healthy.
The God to go with the future
of the teacher and the life which is blessed it
Will and it intends Become
Merry Christmas.

At least i'm close to Lake Michigan.....

bye bye baby bye bye

Has anyone listened to Avatar by Comets On Fire? It's a really perplexing album for me. There's a lot about it that I tell myself I don't like. But every time I sit down and listen to the whole thing, it's a real great experience, a real good time. Any thoughts?

Not only can she sing... but she loves babies too!

i feel like a freak having a picture of kimya dawson's baby, panda, with mirah. but oh my god, so precious! i mostly wanted a reason to make a new post and by god i found one! kimya dawson is my friend on myspace and i feel like it's okay for me to look at her life because we danced once at a show/party at my friend jeff's house in madison. so it's okay, right?

Human Vomit

“There shouldn’t be any Spanish-language books in this li-bary,” Minor said. “I would like to see a policy that if somebody is going to donate a book to this li-bary, where English has been the dominant language since 1836, let’s make those books be donated in English only.”

ight

Simple corporate faux philanthropy that might actually be worth a few seconds of your time

Some medical corporation that steals millions of dollars from us every year is donating a buck to AIDS research if you visit this website and light a fake candle.

Tomorrow is World AIDS Day, and if some ordinarily stupid symbolic gesture is actually going to help potentially accomplish something worthwhile, then why not? I thought I'd pass this link on, to force these guys to cough up five more dollars.

Thanks.

WITH GRATITUDE

THANK YOU FOX NEWS CHICAGO!



Thank you for protecting us! Thank you for defending Decency & Honor. Thank you for digging so deeply into our national fabric, dare I say into our national SOULS! Thank you for alerting us to the danger of teenagers dancing! Thank you for warning us the dancing footage might be too much for more sensitive viewers! Thank you for unearthing and EXPOSING and Dragging to the LIGHT an activity that may lead to, of all things...pre-marital sex! Your codes are our codes! Your values are but a mirror of what real Americans feel in their hearts! Thank you for advertising this GROUNDBREAKING and HISTORICAL and unfliching and most of all BRAVE news feature up to a week in advance. We all needed, nee---were REQUIRED as GOOD CITIZENS to be made concerned that this threat may destroy the generation we so desperately need to SHAPE UP, GET SERIOUS, FACE REALITY and fight the war for the next several years on our behalf. Without your bold and courageous journalism this entire LUMP of youngsters may have been lost to the mists of DECADENCE that claimed so many during Viet Nam, The Installation of the Shah Of Iran, The Faulkland Islands War, The Russian Invasion of Afghanistan, the Liberation of El Salvador and Nicaragua, the Liberation of Panama, Waco, The Los Angeles Riots, Desert Storm (among others) that sapped our STRENGTH and nearly RUINED our Great & Free Land! As one humble American, I can only thank you from the depths of my being. God Bless.

P.S. Please consider doing a feature on the atrocities that these people with their "peace wreath" in Colorado are inflicting on their Decent and Hardworking neighbors. Thank you. Once again, With Gratitude, from one awed viewer.

Sea to Sea

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You can't fire me, because I quit.

????/////????

Please be a witness to this spectacle......

I made a second mixed cd! Exciting, I know. I have made three copies already (for Rich/Liz, Tim and D) and hope to send them out by Monday so you can enjoy them in time for the holiday! Nothing says turkey (or tofurkey) day like Heavens to Betsy, Wolf Eyes and The Stooges! Here is the track listing, hope you enjoy:

Cadallaca - Oh Shenila
LiLiPUT - Birdy
The Casual Dots - I'll Dry My Tears
Witchypoo - Olympia Must Die
Bratmobile - Panik
The Moldy Peaches - What Went Wrong (Live 99')
The Breeders - Don't Call Home
X-Ray Spex - Identity
S-K - Ironclad
The Stooges - Shake Appeal
X - Los Angeles
The Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict
Long Hind Legs - Alphabets of Unreason
The Supremes - Love Child
Erase Errata - Suprize, It's Easter
Joy Division - Leaders of Men
Patti Smith - Gloria
Sonic Youth - My Friend Goo
Heavens to Betsy - Terrorist
Bob Dylan - It's Alright Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)
The Rondelles - Shanghai Surprise
Wolf Eyes - Rattlesnake Shake
Nina Simone - I Want a Little Sugar in my Bowl

Yes...The Answer Is Yes

Oz Magazine...the greatest literary achievement of the 20th century that didn't involve Gysin & Burroughs. Their archive of (almost) all 48 issues is FINALLY up on the internet (finding issues on E-Bay etc has been largely futile). Do yourself a massive favor, expand your consicousness, explode your limitations, and fuck the imitations by clicking on THIS LINK---http://www.oztrading.net/Library.htm

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Donald Rumsfeld 1932-2006

Good riddance.

Top 100? Eat My Shit.

This is probably the lamest post I've ever put up, but I feel like it deserves to be looked at. Especially by people with taste I trust. Yes, I trust every single one of yours taste. Agree with wholeheartedly? Of course not. That would be silly.
The list you see below is from VH1's "definitive" "list" of the "top" songs from the 1980's. I'm assuming it means main stream and "popular" songs from the 1980's, because I could make my own list and very few of these would be on there. I'm okay with Talking Heads, but there are better Talking Heads songs. And Prince, I'm not sure if I would have picked most of those. Who knows.
But the most important part is that my old roommate Kaelin, who is totally insane and really boring, took her time to make comments about each song listed. Some of them are hilarious like the ones about Run DMC and The Clash (oh and Public Enemy!) and some are just sad like the ones about A-Ha and Modern English.
If this list had been seen by me before August 15th of 2003, then I would not have lived with her. I just found this comical and sad, so enjoy!
And PS - I don't mind making fun of her because she is honestly one of the worst people I know and I rarely actually hate people. But I do hate her. She would watch FOX News for godsakes.




According to VH1, the greatest 80s songs...

01 Bon Jovi / "Livin' on a Prayer" 1986-I have to totally disagree with this! This song sucks!! It barely belongs on the list, let alone number 1.
02 Def Leppard / "Pour Some Sugar On Me" 1987-My comments are similar to 1. This is the song they always play at Hip Cats. It's fun to dance to when you're drunk, but that's about it.
03 Duran Duran / "Hungry Like the Wolf" 1982-This song has a great beat and is fun, but it does not top "Take on Me" or "Billy Jean." (I will probably mention "Take on Me" numerous times as I feel it should be at least in the top ten, if not Number 1 itself.)
04 Michael Jackson / "Billie Jean" 1982-Justifiable, yet better than "Hungry Like the Wolf" and 1 and 2...who voted on these anyway??? Maybe I should do my research
05 Prince / "When Doves Cry" 1984-Great song, one of Prince's best, I think.
06 Hall & Oates / "I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" 1981-I'm not even familiar with this title, so it probably sucks, heh heh
07 Guns N' Roses / Sweet Child O' Mine 1987-I like this song. Yup. Good song.
08 Madonna / "Like a Virgin" 1984-Madonna was, is, and always has been overrated. She is not talented. The only good songs of hers are "Like a Prayer"(which consequently should be on the list instead of "Like a Virgin") and "You Must Love Me"
09 Run-D.M.C. / "Walk This Way" 1986-I like this song, but was not aware anyone other than the great Aerosmith did it.
10 AC/DC / "You Shook Me All Night Long" 1980-AC/DC is great. I have little problem with this ranking.
11 Journey / Don't Stop Believin' 1981-This song should have bumped off Madonna and Run-D.M.C., and Def Leopard...etc. Great great song. Love it.
12 Whitney Houston / "How Will I Know" 1985-A simple no will do.
13 U2 / "With Or Without You" 1984-I used to love this song. Perhaps I have heard it one too many times. Now it fails to have that moody, sad love song effect on me.
14 The Bangles / "Walk Like an Egyptian" 1986-This song is fun...but...not my favorite...
15 Van Halen / "Jump" 1984-Another great song, but I have a personal problem with this song and get choked up when I hear it. Weird, I know, but that is another story altogether.
16 INXS / "Need You Tonight" 1987-The lead singer was good-looking, the song, nothing special.
17 Whitesnake / "Here I Go Again" 1982-Um...no.
18 Dexy's Midnight Runners / "Come On Eileen" 1982-This is one of those cheesy bad songs that I love. Especially at that slow part with the drums that gradually builds faster and faster. It's fun. Maybe shouldn't be this high up, but I like it.
19 Cyndi Lauper / "Time after Time" 1984-Yes.
20 Rick Springfield / "Jessie's Girl" 1981-I'm a bit neutral. Not a bad song, not a great song.
21 Michael Jackson / "Beat It" 1982-I actually prefer "The Way you Make me Feel" to this one.
22 The Cure / "Just Like Heaven" 1987-I recently rediscovered this song after it was buried in my memory for years. I love it. Very catchy.

Note: Why haven't I seen The Cars on here yet?


23 Cyndi Lauper / "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" 1984-A happy song! I will not dispute this position.
24 A-Ha / "Take On Me" 1985-Here it is. My all time favorite 80s song. A one-hit wonder, great beat, great video, and the lead singer of A-Ha is hot. I adore this. Put it at number one, please...maybe I should make my own top 100 list...too much time on my hands?
25 Go-Go's / "Our Lips Are Sealed" 1981-it's ok, but I don't get excited over it.
26 Guns N' Roses / "Welcome to the Jungle" 1987-good song, yes.
27 Kajagoogoo / "Too Shy" 1984-No.
28 Wham! / "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" 1984-This song got 100 times better for me when I saw "Zoolander." It makes me laugh when I hear it, but in a good way.
29 Talking Heads / Burning Down the House 1983-Yes! The intro. itself makes this song worthy! Kick-ass!
30 Pat Benatar / "Love is a Battlefield" 1983-One of those songs I loved but has sort of dulled for me...I always think of "Voices Carry," which is a better song.
31 Queen and David Bowie / "Under Pressure" 1981-my unshakable bias toward David Bowie makes me nod my head and smile like a little girl. Yes!
32 Night Ranger / "Sister Christian" 1983-Love it.
33 Soft Cell / "Tainted Love" 1981-No thank you.
34 Poison / "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" 1988-I was about to start ranting, why? But it's an all right song. Should it be 34? Probably and most likely not.
Phil Collins / "In the Air Tonight" 1981-I love this song. It is creepy and it builds into something else creepy. Ha. I saw Phil perform this a few years ago. I've always loved it.
36 Tommy Tutone / "867-5309 / Jenny" 1981-Nah.
37 Aerosmith / "Janie's Got a Gun" 1989-I don't know what to say. I am not loving it. I don't hate it.
38 U2 / "Pride (In the Name of Love)" 1984-Another song I am just sort of neutral on.
39 Modern English / "I Melt With You" 1982-This song is romantic, fun, and sexy. Hmm mmm mmm. hmm mm mm mm.
40 The B-52's / "Love Shack" 1989-Fun to dance to, but "Rock Lobster" is funner. Is that a word?
41 Mötley Crüe / "Dr. Feelgood" 1989-Can't comment as I don't know this song.
42 The Clash / "London Calling" 1982-again...the title doesn't ring a bell. Should I know this as it is in the top 50?
43 ABC / "Look of Love (Part One)" 1982-probably not, as again, I can't remember it.
44 Bananarama / "Cruel Summer" 1984-this song was on "The Karate Kid." I enjoy it!
45 Janet Jackson / "Nasty" 1986-Janet Jackson was overrated as well. Yes, very pretty lady, great dancer...but her voice was mediocre.
46 The Police / "Every Breath You Take" 1983-a stalking song! I have heard it way too many times, but it's a good song. It doesn't thrill me but it doesn't make me switch the station in disgust, either.
47 Twisted Sister / "We're Not Gonna Take It" 1984-I laugh. Then I do switch the station.
48 Bruce Springsteen / "Born in the U.S.A." 1984-"Dancing in the Dark" does not beat this one?
49 Beastie Boys / "Fight For Your Right" 1986-No.
50 Eurythmics / "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)" 1983-No, but thank you anyway.
51 Ratt / "Round and Round" 1984-What?
52 Dead or Alive / "You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)" 1985-The Wedding Singer! This song is energetic and fun as well. Not spectacular though, but I guess that's why it isn't higher up!
53 Billy Idol / "White Wedding" 1988-I prefer "Cradle of Love" and "Rebel Yell" to this. This song is ok.
54 Salt-N-Pepa / "Push It" 1986-what?
55 A Flock of Seagulls / "I Ran (So Far Away)" 1982-Yes
56 Bonnie Tyler / "Total Eclipse of the Heart" 1983-should be higher up!
57 Toni Basil / "Mickey" 1981-No
58 Culture Club / "Do You Really Want to Hurt Me" 1982-please no. In my Boy George phase yes I would say, I love this song. Now I really want to stop hearing it.
59 John Mellencamp / "Jack & Diane" 1982-I hate 99% of John Mellencamp's songs.
60 Young M.C. / "Bust a Move" 1989
61 Styx / "Mr. Roboto" 1983-this song is nonsense to me. I prefer "Miss America" and "The Angry Young Man" to this by far.
62 Berlin / "Take My Breath Away" 1986-still enjoy this cheesy love song, I do.
63 Devo / "Whip It" 1980-when a problem comes along, I must...say no.
64 Paula Abdul / "Straight Up" 1988-Nah.
65 Foreigner / "I Want to Know What Love Is" 1984-Foreigner has kick-ass ballads. They are like Journey mixed with Kansas or something. Or not, I just like them. "Jukebox Hero" is awesome!
66 Depeche Mode / "Just Can't Get Enough" 1981-There are a few Depeche Mode songs I like. This song is fun too.
67 REO Speedwagon / "Keep On Loving You" 1980-"Take it on the Run" is better to me.
68 Public Enemy / "Fight the Power" 1988-Is this that one that is on "Do the Right Thing" in the beginning? If so, that song made me cringe. Lame.
69 R.E.M / "It's The End of the World As We Know It (and I Feel Fine)" 1980-No.
70 Joan Jett & The Blackhearts/ "I Love Rock N' Roll" 1981-No.
71 Rick James / "Super Freak" 1981-Eh...
72 The Fixx / "One Thing Leads to Another" 1983-not likely. Wow am I being negative!
73 Nena / "99 Luftbaloons" 1983-It is ok. What is this song even about?
74 George Michael / "Faith" 1987-Yes.
75 Prince / "Little Red Corvette" 1983-Yes! Don't you just love Prince?
76 Thomas Dolby / "She Blinded Me With Science" 1982-This is like a roboty, geeky song. It's ok, but it's not nearly my favorite.
77 New Edition / "Candy Girl" 1983-not familiar with this one.
78 Blondie / "Call Me" 1980-"Heart of Glass" I like better.
79 Human League / "Don't You Want Me?" 1981-Forgettable. Yet I suppose I haven't forgotten it since I know what it is. A song I'd catch and change the station.
80 Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock / "It Takes Two" 1988-No comment.
81 Cameo / "Word Up!" 1986-again, no comment.
82 Squeeze / "Tempted" 1981-a toothbrush, some toothpaste...and what for my face? Yes. Reality Bites. Good song, maybe it deserves to be in the top 50?
83 Prince / "Kiss" 1986-Yes. You can see my fondness for Prince.
84 Lionel Richie / All Night Long (All Night) 1983-Yes! Though it is not about partying and having a good time, apparently.
85 Robert Palmer / "Addicted to Love" 1985-just ok.
86 Bow Wow Wow / "I Want Candy" 1982-too poppy for me...
87 Falco / "Rock Me Amadeus 1986-I think I have not heard this song to form an attachment to it. It is kind of funny, kind of catchy, but I don't have much more input on that.
88 Chaka Khan / "Ain't Nobody" 1989-No. No. No.
89 The Pretenders / "Brass in Pocket" 1980-Yes. Chrissy Hind-spelled right?-her voice is great. I love this.
90 Tone-Loc / "Wild Thing" 1989-This is the same guy that played Ace's detective partner in Ace Ventura. I did not know that. The song is not my favorite.
91 Katrina and The Waves / "Walking On Sunshine" 1983-the ultimate summery, feel great, have a party, it's Friday, I am ecstatic song. Great!
92 New Kids on the Block / "You Got It (The Right Stuff) 1988-please don't make me comment on a New Kids song.
93 Gary Numan / "Cars" 1980-Yes.
94 The Rolling Stones / "Start Me Up" 1981-All right.
95 Debbie Gibson / "Only in My Dreams" 1987-this is catchy. I like it. She still performs it too.
96 Men at Work / "Down Under" 1982-ok, good song.
97 The Romantics / "What I Like About You" 1980-No. No. What I hate about this song...I just...do...
98 Bobby Brown / "My Perogative" 1988-Britney's is so totally much better. Ha! was I kidding just now?
99 Wang Chung / "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" 1986-Is this a one-hit wonder too? I honestly don't know what to say about this one.
100 Loverboy / "Working for the Weekend" 1981-should be up higher.

Can I Manage The Waste?

I voted this morning. I voted to not retain ANY judges. Irresponsible? Perhaps, but running Judy fuckin BT is far more childish than anything I will EVER do...EVER. Also, why not make conceptual statements with a ballot. Thats why I voted for Bush. I didn't do that, actually. Or did I?

The poling people in Westchester are so kind! They are thrilled that someone under 70 is bothering to show up, they bend over backwards to be helpful and attentive. In 2004, I thought they were going to hand me flowers or something.

What was funny was this little foriegn guy directly in front of the door handing out pro-Republican pamphlets and apparently he has to be standing 100 feet away from the door. So the state election person kept running out there and yelling at him. He'd walk to this far away tree then immediately walk back to the door. Like a naughty 55 year old broken english speaking school boy. By the time I was walking out he had taken to yelling at voters, and I got an earful of "This state it hates republicans, it hates us, its all other people". Thats an exact quote. He walked next to me all the way to my car. All I could say is "yeah it sure does". I think I qualify as a filthy other person, though I dont hate anybody, really. Or do I?

Oh, and I got to show up an hour late for work, so I drove around blaring some Silver Apples and Double Leopard action before giving up and pulling into the office parking lot. Thank god for democracy!

Rake soup!